Just so you know (:

4Some outing!

2009-04-05T20:58:00.002+08:00

hey guys..
a thought has came to me..
and i am still pondering if i wanna to act it or not..
i was thinking of Closing down my Blog.
i mean, you guys can see it..
i havent been very active in it.
then i dont think keeping it is needed
hehe..
still thinkin about it so not sure yet
will update you guys ar..
haha

yeah went out the whole night with 4Some again!
hehe and really meant WHOLE night..
went Chomp Chomp to makan...
Gosh was it packed there!
haha but ate quite a few things
ALL THANKS TO THE LADY
that claims that she can eat the whole lion
hehe!!
funny!
then went to cathy starbucks and spend the night there
talked alot..
keep updating each other about our life..
the thing about 4Some is that, there is nothing to hide between us..
we say EVERYTHING..hehe
yeah... at least i have some friends to pour out everything without hiding any..hehe
ya it was suppose to be a hehe haha session
until our conver changed to Ghost stories. REAL life Ghost stories
talked for a few hours about that
man was it CREAPY
SHERMAINE LOR!!

went to take NR to Bukit Panjang mac at around 3 plus as
fel need to head home
ya then so so lor...

hiax...
i was just thinking
last time the 4 of us was able to see and meet each other every single day!
in school..
having alot of time together
but now its like every 4 months or so we meet ones to catch up
feel liks time is really passing us
and that we are really growing up fast..
time do change things..!
but i hope that no matter what things are change
4Some wont!!
hehe

lifee

2009-03-28T22:02:00.003+08:00

Life is Lovely
Life is Insane
Life is Fun
Life is Exciting..

is that all for Life?
Life has full of surprises
Life has full of Ups and Downs..
Sometimes it has U-turns, sometimes it doesn't..
Life is like Gas - it doesnt have a fix shaped
Life is also like Liquid - do not under estimate it
Life can also be a solid- as rigid at times...

But no matter how Life turns out to be..
we Cant do anything about it.. Or can we?
Life is not always about Me, I but rather, He, She, We..
No life is complete without one and other..
No life fits to be called a life without your friends...

Through the Current NP SSC
i see through alot of things..
mostly things of myself..
how i project myself..
how i present myself
how i act at certain events.
etc etc..

i am going to try to start everything a new..
going to strive hard in everything that i do
start from my second year!
haha yeah!
so guys..
beware..
a new stozer is coming up..
you guys seen the old or shall i say the Current one
imagine what the new stozer will be like
hehe!!!

Sports camp!

2009-03-21T23:17:00.002+08:00

KADIAN OWH!!!!
-HEEEEEE.....
KADIAN OWH!!!!!
-HAAAAAA......
KADIAN OWH!!!!!
- HE HA, HE HA!

sports camp 09/10 is just
simply awesome..
haha... for those who missed it..
all i can say is that you guys just missed out something that
is going to blow you away
you can always go and ask KJ if you dont believe me!
at first he was pondering if he should go Sports camp or SU-FOC
luckly he choose to come to Sports camp..
and he told me he had FUN!
i can really see it
as he was always cheering and highly !
KJ, i am so proud of you!

This Sports is really a engery Sucking Camp!
this is the first camp that let me lose my Voice on the very First afternoon of the camp
and also the first that made me feel so tired on the very FIRST day
but being a GL, though being down and scake, you have to act
high to cheer your group (Kadian) up..
but i dont think i did a perfect job..
i will try harder next time..
haha
hope my Kids will forgive me!

though its a 4D3N ; or for the GLs 4D4N camp
it really flies... like a flash..
miss the kids now...
miss those days where we sleep late... on the hard floor
for a matter of few hours..
and when its time to wake up
then you have to pull yourself up and act hyper
as the Freshies will look up to you!

actually there is just too many things to say about
the sports camp
and the things that i went through with the Gls and the freshies
that i dont know where to start
so it will be better if i show you guys some of the pics..
i will do so once i get my hands on them ok?
haha!

fuji

2009-03-15T11:47:00.002+08:00

hey...
working is really tiring..
haha..
i know some of you guys must be
"DUH-ing"
haha..
however though this job is engery draining...
but i kinda like it..
every morning when i wake up
i will be like..
Gosh.. no energy... no life...
but never once i thought of not going to work..
haha...
the pay is not bad..
the people there are great...
met alot of friends...

talked to alot people!
lol...

so if ya... didnt reply any of your mails
or whatever.. sorry!
hehe

KSS Sports Fiesta!

2009-03-07T16:21:00.002+08:00

hey.
i really want to thank
Kranji Sec again!
Once again Kranji did not make me to feel high
it did not fail to make me happy!
i have never felt this high after leaving Kranji..
i didn't regret going back to kranji today..

actually i had a hard time thinking if i should go back or not..
as.. i just camp back from NP SSC sports camp trail camp
and that camp is a energy draining camp...
i have lost about 8O% of my voice ( you can ask the kranjians. my voice was weird today)
and i was really not feeling well..
worst of all i am seriously lacking of sleep..
everyday i am packed with either Camps or Work
i really dont have a rest day...
hence i was thinking... if i was not going to kranji
i will have as much sleeep as i desire..

haha. but the little kranjian inside me
persuaded me..
and i really had fun..
being high with KJ, samuel, syafiq, kai zhun, jie heng etc etc
and we call ourself the
IRON LADIES...
haha and we OWNED all the stations...
hehe... fun is the word..

oh just so if you guys are wonder why we went back to kranji
was beacuse kranji had
thier Sports Fiesta today
or so we called it Annual Road Run for the Ex kranjians..
just that this year is abit different..

hehe
thanks kranjian again!
hehe

exams CANCEL

2009-03-01T21:19:00.011+08:00

1 down.....

2 down.....

3 down.....

4 down.....

YES!!!!....

That was all that i was thinking for the past 2 and a half week
i got to say, its really was a tough week
but luckly its all over..
or i think it is!
though i studied hard.
But i fear for my Major Module
Organic and Biomolecular Chemistry
i am worried that i will retake that module
oh... please pray for me guys!

haha but whatever, the worst is over
now all i can do is to get ready for my Camps that is coming
and work... and i am sure that 7 weeks will be a flash..

Fri was my last paper
and me and 6 other guys went to chill..
we went to catch a movie...
lol... it is call
"He is just not so into you"
lol.. just imagine this..
SIX big guys (Da Nan Ren)
watch this kinda show together..
lol... what a joke la!

though the show is quite nice
but i am disappointed..
i was hoping that i could learn something from it
like to know more in site things..
things that i usually over look
that makes relationship go bad
or that makes the other party
feel bad...
but NO...
everything is like so obvious!
hiax.. disappointed..

but i agreed with two points over there!!
at least i took away something right?

1st- If a guy want to date you, he will do whatever it takes to do so
If a guy want to call you, he will..

2nd- Friends, always seem to tell you that. they know a friend of a friend who is
facing the same situation as you, and is doing fine!. but is it always so
considental? though sometimes we know its a fake. but it just feels good
hearing that right?

haha right?
haha just something i thought about..

oh then went to heren to makan Fish and Co with Nicky and Normy yesterday
missing 1 more guys
"AMJAD"
wonder when will he join us?
was kinda fun, chatting and having a meal with them besides in school

haha!

stress

2009-02-23T21:33:00.002+08:00

Oh dear!

oh my....!!

i am stressed! yeah that is the word... STRESSED!

Poly life is really gettin to my neck!

gosh..

being super busy now..

may be is because of me joining too many things in school..

trying to get my timetable as pack as possible

so that i wouldn't not have free time..
everyday pack to the max!

with this.. i will be busy with something for like 18 hours per day..
excluding the time i sleep and eat and travel
thats the only time that i usually am free to think..

if i am being blessed with the enegry
how i wish i can use those times to be busy too.

As only when being busy

i won't not have the time to think...

to think of the FACT..

to face the reality..

to have no time to think makes me

live in a world of denial..

to not have the time to wonder off in my mind

makes me feel that i am still there...

i know that i am running away..

but thats all i can do now..

wonder how long my body can take it...

not its like..

i joined about 4 CCAs..

all those CCAs takes alot of my time

and it is energy draining...

with that, i can just slam myself onto the bed

every night. preventing me from thinking before i fall asleep..

and now..

i am mugging for my end of year exams..

and guess what..

i am studying MUCH harder than i do for my Os..

study the whole day..

and i mean the WHOLE day!

have never worked so hard before..
but i know that even with these hard work

i won't score well..

hiax..

STRESSED!

everything is being bottled up..

remix!

2009-02-18T13:43:00.002+08:00

hey guys.
you really do need to listen to my blog song.
it used to be my blog song just that there is abit of change..!
i blogged about this song before..
and i said that it is really meaningful
i learnt alot from it..
but that was how a girl view a guy in relationship
but in this remix..
its like the boy is also saying his say
haha
so its like a mini quarrel within the song
gosh.. do listen
and feel the song..
if might help you reflect somethings..
things might get better...
haha...!!

but don't think too much worh..
yes though i learn alot from this song..
but thanks to someone
my prospect, comments and view
of relationship has changed....

oh well!

2009-02-13T18:30:00.002+08:00

Hiax..
if only the world is perfect!
if only the world is not full of problems etc..
i am feeling very frustrated at the moment..
or shall i say for the past few days/ weeks..
more and more problems are ramping into me.!
even if i am a bumper of a car..
i will get damage sooner or later.
i too have a limit..
gosh!
so FAN!!!
too many things to think of now!!

all i want now is to settle down
chill.. relax..
dont think of anything..
dont be bothered and disturbed..
just do what i wish
do what my mind and heart want..
hope it will be easy!

NP SSC

2009-02-10T21:32:00.002+08:00

Hey guys!
firstly to all the Poly kids out there
i hereby wish you guys good luck for
your up coming end of Sem or shall i say end of year exams
haha!
i just can't believe it
it has already been one year since i am in Ngee Ann Poly
gosh is it fast!
haha
anyways!

i'm here today to talk about something different!
i am proud to say that
i am now a memeber of Ngee Ann Poly Student Sports Committee!
hehe!
yeah!!
but i have to say that the SSC in NP and the SSC in KSS
is kinda different
1stly- in NP the number of memeber is much mroe than KSS
2ndly- in NP SSC isn't as involved in school events as in KSS
3rddly- in NP the degree of leadership qualitys they see in their members is not as high
as in KSS.

though yes i am still in SSC just that in a different school
but i always thought
i had fun in KSS SSC
but will i have as much fun in NP?
will i be that attached to SSC in NP.
will i be that involved in it?

i just came back from the 1st SSC camp
1 night camp
it was kinda fun
still ok...
got to know some people
but not all
wonder if i can know everyone
like how i know SSC in KSS
wish me luck!!

Caring too much- No more!

2009-01-31T23:08:00.002+08:00

hey
apologies again!
i realise that i have been saying sorry to u guys
more and and more often.
its as though most of my post are getting this habit
haha!
been very busy these few days..
you know. Chinese new year and stuffs..
well.. haha

today i am not going to blog about CNY
i mean, you guys have been reading other people's cny story way too much
you guys need something else...
and i am proud to say that i am able to offer that!

One have to do some self-reflection
from time to time.
just to think about how things are going in his/her life
how things should be.
and how things are.
and i have been doing so..
i wanted to start a brand new year
i want to make 2009 a great year for me..
i know some of you might think
"Come on, this is like almost the 2nd month of 2009, isnt it abit too late?"
No. its still CHINESE NEW YEAR!
a new year
ya..

After some of the reflection
the main thing is that.
i feel that i have always been caring about things too much.
thinking about it and for it more than i should.
thus giving others the chance to take me and my doings as something
that is suppose to be there.
in other words Granted..
and they are subconsiously dependent on me..
adding on to the existing stress level that i already have.
and i thought that
with a new year
i would like to have a different form of life..

i want to change.
not totally but just parts where i think it will make my life more
exciting and cherished.
For the things that i cared too much for.
you guys will slowly notice that i will not be doing so much anymore
i want to live a life where
i am comfortable in and not one that
i will have a low self estem ( is that how we spell it?)

Gosh, actually i do have alot to share
but when i start to write it doesnt seems to flow out
haha
i will add on to it once i remember more
that i promise

to everyone out there!
happy chinese new year!

life

2009-01-18T20:35:00.003+08:00

Have you guys thought of what life is..
isnt it a remarkable thing.

its like , its unpredictable..

you will never know what will happen in the next second..

it might be good or bad

but no one knows..

Life likes to play with us ( or at least me)
it will make u feel at cloud nine at a moment

and the very next moment

it can make u feel as though ur at the nineth storey

of Hell.

dont u feel the same way?

my life has been twisting and twirling with

trouble, problems, stress, love, friends..

and all i can do to face these problems

is to fake a smile

and try to think things out one by one..

The ending is hard to acchieve

but i have been thinking tons of ways in which

i or rather we can acchieve it

but Life doesnt seem to let me acchieve it easily

no matter how i think it through

its nvr a win win situation..

i cant put u in a tough position..

No one can ever blame Life or Faith

its written our every little step on the Heaven's book

but One alway say that
our own Faith is at our hands..

ya its at OUR own hands..
Hands that are grown on us..

why do we have to bothering how ppl want our life to be

why do we have to like matter how ppl thinkin abt us!

its our hands. our life.. its US

im not sayin that we have to be stubborn and hack care abt others

wat i am saying is that

when it comes to impt decision where it can affect our life

a decision on something that matters alot to u

think abt it ursself!

how i wish i can work things out...

i watched a show call
" Last Holiday!"

though its a comedy

but i learnt something from it

for once i have a New Year Wish..

and that is to
Live every single day my fullest...

it might seems easy and simple- nothing special

but doing and really living it isnt easy..

but can i ask
how can I live my day the fullest

if ur not there to Complete me..

non-complete means not full......

kranji forgets

2009-01-17T18:28:00.002+08:00

let me just do a short and quick one...
hehe
went back to kranji sec today
for two meetings
one is SLC meeting while the other is Alumni meeting..
but thats not what i want to tell u guys!

when i first step into kranji
i suddenly had a strange feelings
its as though this is my 1st time walking in to kranji
everything seems so new to me..
everything seems as though it was my 1st time seeing it!
when i told myself that this was the sch tt i went for, for 4 yrs
i just couldnt believed it..
it was as though i feel like this
" oh really? but why i feel so like out of place?"

is it becaz i have left the sch too long
and have forget the feeling of being a kranjian anymore?

there was some uniform groups doing their drills
and i just looked at them!
and i was kinda shocked and sad that i actually nvr seen most of then before
hiax.
wat is this

last time kranji seemed like my 2nd home!
one that i always want to go to
but now..
im out of place
kranji.......

Open house Np

2009-01-08T22:32:00.011+08:00

ALERT....ALERT!!
WARNING....
i need everyone's attention!!!
Stozer has Struck again!
and this time his target wasnt Kranji
but its Ngee Ann Poly!!
Beware of him!
he is a dangerous person!!
lol...
for some of you, you might not know
but others..... u may be clueless
so let me walk with u step by step....

ok, stop stop stop... do you really think that i will be doing this for the whole day... one more clue for you!

Now do u get the picture?
ok. Gosh you are really too slow!

Is this obvious enough for you?

you MUST get it this time!!!!!!!

haha yeah!. i was dressing up as

batman for NP's open house!

i wanted to dress as Cat women
but... i was too big size.. then zip couldnt be fully zipped

haha!!

met some kranjians while was walkin ard the school

and was attacked by

the one person who will do that to me!

NATHAN chan... haha

and saw the rest of the sec 5s..
or shld i say
ex kranjians le?
haha

anyway good luck in getting back ur O lvl results on
monday
GOOD LUCK GUYS!

come to Ngee Ann!

canteen 5

2009-01-06T12:07:00.013+08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, Boys and Girls of all ages..
im hereby proud to Present to you
Ngee Ann Poly's newest Canteen!
Canteen FIVE!!... where there are tons of
great food inside..
ranging from SUBWAY... HUNGRY JACK...WAFFLETOWN..
etc etc.. its just like a food court in a mall
just that its in a SCHOOL and its much CHEAPER and way NICER!
haha..
finally we Ngee Ann-ians have something to brag about.

Yes. we might not have Pizza hut nor do we have
Mac and KFC.. but those are healthy food!
Singapore Poly i know you have subway too
but.. SHHHHHHHHH!!!
hehee!

so for all the kids out there.
whom are wonder which poly to go to
DONT THINK ANY LONGER
come to the poly with such a great canteen!
come to Ngee Ann
another very great factor to think abt is that
STOZER is here...
what else can u ever ask for?
haha!!

This canteeen is just too great!

hmm... what nex install for NP?
oh ya... my school
Life Science and Chemical Technology
is also renovating
its much nicer now.. hehe!

new years day 2009

2009-01-01T15:57:00.002+08:00

hey hey hey!
guess what?
its 2009!!!!
woah!!!! its a brand new year!
i here by wish everyone a very
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
may each and everyone of you have a blast in the year ahead!
where nothing but your wish comes true!

ok. now lets talk abt my New year's Eve or New Years Day itself.
actually i just woke up...
i reached home at aroung 10 plus 11 plus Am after a
whole night and morning of nothing but Madness and Highness
with those guys again
Shermaine, Felicia, Joshua

we all were suppose to meet at Cine at 12am to catch at 1245am Yes man show..
but i reach lot one at around 7 plus.
and hanged and shopped there till 1130pm..
all thanks to Jian Lun for accompanying me!!
thanks bro!
i was suppose to wait at lot 1 for Sher to sms me
then i take 190 and we go Cine together.
i felt so lucky when i got on the LAST bus!
i was like.. not bad.....
but i had to get off as SOMEONE call Felicia.. was super late
hence i had to get off at Sher's busstop
and had to wait for NR3
and by the time Fel reached, it was nearing 12am le!
all 3 of us were at the bustop
hearing the shouting/ counting down from a nearby coffee shop!
the very moment they reached ONE.....
bus NR3 reached and opened his doors..
so, i have to say that
i had my 2009 countdown at a bustop at Bukit Panjang
and the 1st second 2009 was spend on a bus!
dont you guys laugh.
how many of you guys can do that?
haha!

some of you guys might be thinking
gosh, poor joshua, he must be waiting for the rest of us
alone at Cine already
haha, if so. YOU GUYS ARE SO WRONG
joshua has his OWN plans before meetin us..
and when we reached there, we still had to wait for him
RIGHT HOR JOSH!
you know what we are talkin abt!
you know abt the Picture we were talkin abt it!
lol!
(sorry guys, a little secret between the 4 of us)

oh ok ya..
so we reached early hence we went to take the things
that felicia booked
everyone went well UNTIL..
we took our ticket and was abt to walk off
when the staff found out something!
instead of 1245AM.... our movie was 1245PM
or at least someone booked that time!
we were STUNNED... haha
but its alright. the kind staff let us changed the movie
to Bedtime Stories..
at 1st i was kinda sad not able to watch Yes Man
but after watching the show
i think its a good thing to do on New Years Day
as it shows that
Dreams Do Come True!
ya so guys.. believe and persue ur Own dream!
but our dear Josh who just broke camp the very afternoon
slept through almost the whole show!
pity him.. so tired le then still have to high with us!

ok after that
we went to have our meal
at Hong Kong Cafe till 6am
where we met alot of Ex kranjian there!
same thing as usual
laughter, embarrassment, shouting.. big actions
soul pouring. discussion cant be missed
it didnt feel like it was so early in the morning!
haha..
i just like these kinda gathering
just catching up with each other once in a while
just to keep each other updated
talk abt our own life
so that we can laugh abt it.. scold each other abt it..
talk abt it..
you know!

after leaving the restaurant at nearing 6am
we walked to the bustop.. where tons of ppl are there
hence we decided to talk the train
and tons of ppl are there too!!
and 75% are ....... bangala!
i felt as though i was at boon lay during weekends!
gosh!

poor Sher had to work at 1230
hence she wanted to go back and sleep
but you know us.
HOW CAN WE LET HER GO OFF SO EASILY!
in the end after VERY LONG she gave in
we went to Fel's place and played MaJong!
or MINI majong!
hehe!!
then we leave at ard 8 plus 9 plus?

New Year Day was great!
sher- thanks for choosing us over someone else (hehe). thanks for accompanying us to fel's
place even knowing that you have to work! thanks for the highness and the jokes abt
the MILK . haha! just thank you!

Fel-thanks for bookin the tickets and doing all the errands.. thanks for laughing out loud with us
thanks for letting us rest at your place ( we really needed that, or at least i needed that)
haha!thanks for spending time with us! thank you!

Josh- thanks for sharing your stories.hehe. thanks for choosing your Old friends over your New
one. thanks for making this outing possible ( you know what i mean). thanks for being a
sport and come and hang out with us though you are super tired after ur camp! and only
had 4 hrs of sleep! remember what u promised hor the next outting will have FIVE ppl!
hehe... thanks you!

i had a great New Years Day
thanks to u guys! you guys are great
going out with u guys on tt special day
is not a wrong decision
they always say
" starting the year right!"
and i know that i did!
i started my Year Right!
I mean, what is wrong with u guys
haha!!!

i just wanna thank u all again!

and everyone out there
HAPPY 2009!
lets make 2009 way better than 2008!
doing things we never thought we will!
doing miracles for others!
show hope and care to others
its not abt ourself
its make 2009 a year
of Giving, Forgiving. Sharing. Loving.Caring. Fun and Joy!
at least give it a try
start small
start with one person 1st k!
hehe

and pictures of my New Years Day
will be posted up
once i get it from Josh and Sher
hehe

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

xmas!

2008-12-28T04:28:00.003+08:00

First, i would like to thank my bro, Dion, for once again
helping me in doing my Blog

and once again, he did a GREAT job!

well, as everyone knows X'mas just past
actually, not really, X'mas has 12 days.
so im still not late to wish u guys out there a
MERRY X'MAS..
haha
actually xmas to many its a very special occasion.
where you guys will rush for your christmas shopping
thinkin of your family.
buying turkey, hams, sweets etc
decorating your place and getting ready for your house's
xmas party!
spending time with u family and friends
recieving and giving gifts ( this is the best part!)
but.. for my family its different...

we dont celebrate xmas AT ALL!
its like xmas is just another holiday for us to
do our own things at home.
no parties, no presents ( SOB) , no turkey, no hams. no nothing!
gosh! hence each year when the year ends..
when i see xmas stocks are place at shopping malls
when i watch xmas shows - showing how ang mohs value xmas tt much. how they celebrate,
how things will be or should be like in xmas..
i just feel so lost and left out! hiax...
not having a white christmas over here is bad enough
and now this?

but there is more to come
not able to celebrated with ur family
you wouldnt want to celebrate with your Love One
your The One!
ok come one y0u have to be more understanding
may be she is celebrating with her friends or family.
and have no time for u
...
here comes the worst part
YOU CANT EVEN FULFILL HER XMAS WISH!!
gosh im pathetic..
serious!
hiax...

just wasted another Xmas
17 and counting...

violin!

2008-12-19T20:44:00.000+08:00

hehe....
went all the way from malaysia..
to School... then all the way from there to Katong..
i must take 3 person here
Jia Xue, Sherry and of course the guy that helped me alot WEI LI!
thank you guys!

i went to buy my violin!!
hehe..
though i didnt get the colour that i simply like..
this violin might not seem any thing special or unique
but it has a great sound... wow!!
sharp, bright.. just nice!
so nvr judge a book by its cover!

hiax.. BUT I STILL MISS THE COLOUR THAT I LIKE!
it gives the violin an ancient feeling..
but it wasnt really "seasoned" and the wood isnt very dry
Quoted from Wei li!
if the Pro say so.. i trust him!!
what matters from a violin is the sound not really the outlook right?
hehe
COME ON GUYS.. AT LEAST TRY TO COMFORT ME HERE?

after buyin my own violin. im more movitated to improve
especially after seeing how Wei li plays the violin. gosh!
i wanna be at least 3/4 like him ( not that greedy ba?)
i can do it..!!
i will do it...

now my head start is to focus on the family concert coming
and play my best
WISH ME LUCK!

a Nod

2008-12-08T18:23:00.001+08:00

holding tight to the row
never plan to let go..
on a rowwing boat
at the middle of no where
no matter where ur head turn, its just pure sea water..
havent seen the Sun for weeks, its as though
each time each hour its always Dark..
all u see and feel are rain drops..

All alone on this boat.
rowing agaisnt the nasty wave.
fearing that the boat might flip over the next sec
you might get fall into the water,
though u know how to swim, but will you?
heading towards, only Gods know where.
drinking the sea water now and then..
feeling hopeless, tired and lonely every moment..
feel like crying yet it doesnt seems to be flow out
feel like shouting but dont think it really helps..

staring at the dark mean sky.
hoping,praying and begging for a miracle to happy
dreaming of a beam of light shining down at you,
followed up an Angel with wings floating towards you.
halucinating that she will give u a smile and Nod her head
though no words was out
but both knows whats the meaning..

holding her hands,
see-ing her smile
being beside her.
going where? dont know
doing what? dont know
all i know is
with Who....
and im sure heading towards a place, better than
the choppy sea...

but that is just how i want things to be..
how i Hope things to be.
how fairytales are meant to be..
but in this Stozer's world
he is still on the rowing boat...
fighting for survival..
telling himself every now and then
that he will see the Nod..
the Nod that might be insignificant to others
but meant everything to him

a Nod that can change his life..
a Nod that will create a smile on this plain face which cant be erase by anything
a Nod that only he wants it badly
a Nod that...... he Longs to have...

driving theory lesson

2008-11-30T17:50:00.000+08:00

woah!!!
it really has been long since i posted!
so ashamed!
sorry guys!
haha

yesterday was the day
when i went for my driving theory lesson!
yes you guys heard it corrently!
DRIVING theory lesson!!
haha..
my friends oh pls dont be jealous or envious!
u can can have that in like what? err 3-4 yr times?
haha
by then i think i will be a very good driver then
haha!!
dont be jealous worh!

but.. hiax..
this isnt really a HAPPY thing
i had to go through a 6 hrs straight lecture
which is sad to say . IT IS IN MALAY!
and worst is i dont understand that
though i dont understand but i STILL hav to go there!
everything is in malay..
the lecturer... books...
so when the lecturer is blahing abt whatever he teaches
what i did was
for every sentence he said
there is 1 or 2 words that i understand
so for every sentence, i had to guess what he was saying
haha
FUN RIGHT?!

but good thing was that
there was ALOT of videos to watch
and the lecturer was funny
his facial expression, his actions
though some of it i dun understand
but i still laughed along with the class
hehe!!

think i will take my theory exams
when i am haiving my holidays
wish me luck!
*finger crossed*

SGH

2008-11-07T20:36:00.000+08:00

actually this event happened last fri

but i was just too busy to post.

haha

went to Singapore General Hospital (SGH)

to do some monthly voluntary work

and that was my first time theree

and i was shocked
THE WARDS ARE VERY STUFFY!!

gosh... its like an SONA!!
i was waiting for the patient and was just in the ward for 5 mins

and i sweated as though i just ran 1.6km..

and the nurse told me that
" you are only here for 5 mins. imagine us working here everday!"

in the movies and dramas the ward are always air-con-ed..

the hospital really gave me an eerie feeling..

showed me life and death

and how fragile life is..

it gave me a picture of how i MIGHT turn out to be years later..

now i know why so many directors in the world wants to film horror movies

in a hospitals..

ITS JUST GIVE ME THE CHILLS!!

haha

but all these things were worth it

when a relative of the patient that i was taking care of

thanked me. and told me how appreciative she was for
students like us to come and spend our time to show our concern for the patient..

hehe!

if i were a boy

2008-10-27T00:00:00.000+08:00

first i would like to apologise to everyone that looks at my blog.
im sorry for not updating my blog as frequent as i use to do
but just that
sometimes i really dont know what to update..
haha
as life is just.."normal" for me.
nothing exciting that is happenning!
hence i feel that if i were to update those.
lets not talk about you feeling bored while reading
even i will feel bored while writting haha!
get what i mean?
hope you guys understand

well. some of you guys might be thinking this now
" woah, so you have something interesteing to post today?"
haha..
errr... not really..
i want to blog about my blog song
the very first time that i listen to this song
i know that its a very meaningful song..

it really shows how a guy acts in a relationship
how guys tend to forget little details that may be insignificant to them
but very important for the girl and a relationship!
how guys tend to take the girls for granted!
how guys tend to not do the right things!
how guys tend to be just GUYS!

and

how girls always tend to be the one sacrificing for the relationship
how girls always tend to be the one that gives all and recieve none
how girls always tend to be the one at the losing end.
how girls always tend to be the one feeling hurt

after really listening and lookin at the lyrics
i feel that. i am just an ordinary guy that
the song is singing about.
im not any special guy that treats his girl any way special?
do you feel disappointed?

but this song wont be the song that pulls me down
it will be the song that motivates me..
motivates me to be a better boy.... to her
i will try my best!
this i promise you.
as i want the best for you..

"If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I'd be a better man
I'd listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he's taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed

If I were a boy,
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone it's broken so
they think that I was sleeping alone
I'd put myself first and
make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she'd be faithful,
waiting for me to come home
To come home "

stil missing

2008-10-20T17:39:00.000+08:00

Here are just some of the pics that were taken during my trip
more can be found in my friendster

but i still have THOUSANDS of pics not uploaded
and i really mean THOUSANDS..

yeah..

though it has been about 2 weeks

but i still cant seem to forget about them

not that i want to.

but its like. no matter what i do

i will tend to relate to them

its a good thing is some way or another
it makes me realise how lucky i am

but i just hate this "missing" feeling

i dont like it..

its like u miss them but u can hardly call or see them

gosh...!!
why cant they be in Singapore

wat a wishful thought

hmm....

well school has started

and it is getting from boring to dull to dry to sleepy

i dont know why am i feel this

isnt Poly life suppose to be full of excitement and fun?
hiax..

O lvl just started

wishing all the sec 4 and sec 5
best of luck
be careful and you guys can do it!!!

LEAVE KRANJI WITH NO REGRETS!!

UNACAS

2008-10-12T12:46:00.000+08:00

hello guys..
it has been really a while since i touched my blog
i promised you guys that i will post abt my trip to cambodia to an orphange (UNACAS) when i
have settle my emotion
but i thought of it. and i feel that
i will just keep what i have learnt there to myself..
as there is just too much to write..
and i dont know where to start from..
its like.. though im suppose to be there doing Service Learning.
and im suppose to like teach them something.
But, what happened was that they taught me more things that i have done to them
and they did it un-knowingly...
what i taught them was just something simple.. something that you can pay one to teach u
but what they taught me is priceless.. no professor or lecturer can teach u this..
and they taught me so well.
that now. when i do almost everything
i will think back of them...

this really make me feel lost!
i mean, WHY am i soo fortunate?
why cant like God take my fortunate-ty and theirs
we add up those together
and divide it equally among them and myself..
its like..
they have only a little things, near to nothing. yet
they are happy. and really means very genuinely happy
but we have alot of things... near to everything
yet we are not really happy. we complain about everything...
we are always not contented..

i feel that... im such a failure...
too be frank, i feel that i have TOO much..
things that arent really neccessary for one to live in this world..
one that are just an extra thing ....
their simplicty really impacted me...
gosh i miss them!
alot!!!

sorry guys that i didnt share much.
as i feel that it would be better if i hide this trip deep into me..
where i can really appreciate it..

back!

2008-10-04T21:23:00.000+08:00

Hi guys
im back finally..
though i dont really feel like coming back
as i would rather stay there
have a simple life..
the simplicity they have there really attracts me..

i posted just want to tell u guys that im back..
sorry that i wouldnt upload my pics
and not tell u guys how the trip goes etc
as im still emo-ing
will only do that when im feelin better k?
i promise

Pool!

2008-09-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

beside going to the Home, i only went out

once this whole week...

as i didnt really wanna tired myself..
need alot of rest b4 for the big trip..

well. went of NPU (Ngee Ann Poly Ultimate)

frisbee training... hmm actually should i just say

Self training as... hiax.. its like we are the only few whom

are reallly interested and serious abt this NPU thingy..

only this few of us want to do well for tournaments..

hiax... i mean...

nvm i dont wann say much..

the sun was BBQ hot...

gosh... but i kinda like it , as finally i can get the tann

i want...

after the training Zi yang and me actually planned to

swim

but in the end we ended up playing Pool with Yong jia
and Wei xun..

hehe

talked TONS of crap over there..

haha i mean .. tt is wat we do best i guess

hehe..

u know us.. no crap means no life..

haha!!!

yeah thats abt all..
oh ya... as i will be away for a trip..
wont be around to update my blog

and might not have the chance to reply u guy's sms or email or comments etc..

so forgive me k!
hehe

will tell u guys more abt my trip when i get back..
till then..
take care guys!

Old Folks home!

2008-09-15T20:19:00.000+08:00

This was certainly a different day for me..
i visited an Old Folks Home. ( actually not one, but some sort)

ok however, this was my 1st time visiting an Old Folks Home..

no, i should say that this is my 1st time visiting a Home, of any sort.

it was ceratainly a totally raw experience.
one that i never thought i would live to experience.

it was not exactly the kinda visit tt others usually will say when they visit a Home..

i mean.... when i 1st step into the canteen and look at the folks.

it was like.. pairs and pairs of sorrow souls were glazing at me..

i felt weird, uneasy i must say..

there was a total of 188 folks or we call them resident there..

188 is a LARGE sum..

there is actually so many people homeless

and u guys have to know that

there isnt only one such Home in Singapore.

Since young, stories abt ppl gg to Old Folks Home (OFH)
were that, the residents there will keep talkin to us abt their life story

but this wasnt so.....

most of the resident didnt really wanna talk..

and the few of them we wished to talk were not really understood by us

as not all or i mean only A FEW of us spoke dialgue...

hiax..

we were like playing... wat u call that "shareds?" and "Taboo"
with them.... trying to guess wat are they trying to say

just that we are using different language.

but wat strike me the hardest was

1st- their appearance...... wrinkled skin .... broken teeths....

super extremely short haird.....

it kept me thinking... we teenagers take our youth and looks for granted...

one day... just one day i will be like them...

2nd- at the Home there were sences where u will see abled residents will be pushing the

whell chair bound resident around... that really touched me..

i cant really explain the feeling in me.. but its just.......

will i end up in such a Home when i age?

most of the resident there are kind grouchy. moody etc..
why is it so? are they mad abt being left there?
i really pity them.... or should i say FEEL for them.

its like they have worked their ass off for the past few decades

and why did they work so hard for?
just do that they will be stuck in this kinda Home
where they are bored each and every day...

then they should be enjoying their Old Golden age. but instead now

suffering there?

while doing our activites with the folks..
some didnt participate...
i was just lookin at them...
they wont just look at their nails... or feet or just daze
and just let time passs..

and each and every day they do that...
its like.... each day they we wasting their time
im not cursing them
but arent they like waiting for Death to knock on the door?

i chatted with one of the resident

and i asked wat do they usually do when no one visits..
and he said. nth much just watch TV and eat
then i asked wat do they usally play
then he said..
nth, we are too old to . just some normal excerise

and one more thing tt i was taken aback
he actually called his Dorm or Room
his "HOUSE" or "HOME"
while talking
he will say'' usually after doing this we will go back HOME"
when tt word struck me.

i pictured a Home where all family memebers are there
taking care of each other lookin after each other

and having fun...
but when i thought again..
his HOME was just... a corner of the room with his bed and shelf
no offence my friend
BUT WAT KINDA HOME IS THAT!!!

WHERE IS HIS FAMILY MEMEBERS?

GUYS LET ME BEGG U
NVR TO SEND UR RELATIVE...ANY OF THEM
TO A HOME...
PLS.........

do to others what u want others to do to u!

Is grass always greener on the other side

2008-09-05T22:15:00.000+08:00

Can i ask you guys something?
Is grass ALWAY greener on the other side?

or is it just seems and thought as its greener?

do people who take things for granted always think this way?
or are they just too greedy?

People always think that
oh, her/his life is much better than mine
oh, if i were to be in tt sch, things would have been better..

oh, if i were to have "that". wouldnt it be great?

am i right to say that?

but im i also right to say this..
you might think that the other patch of grass is greener than ur patch
but have u ever though of this...

may be, ur patch of grass is greener as compared to another patch..

someone else is comparing theirs with yours...

so this comparations nvr seems to end..

yeah i do admit that im such a person
the phrase tt's always at the edge of my mouth is

" if i were to known better" ( usually in chinese)

i always compare my life with someone else!
feeling inferior etc.....

haha!
silly aye!

but today im not saying abt the things or the life tt others have

but im comparing me, myself , as a human with others

in the way they bring themselves and in the way they live..

in other words, i might be losing confidence in myself.

im a hard shell alright...
from the outside, i may seem fine, normal
but inside.... is where the real and genuine things are...

i seriously dont have confidence in myself as much as i did

to be able to compare myself with others..

sometimes i think to myself
"stozer, wat are u good at?"
i will just daze and nth seems to come out..

i do not have the ability to be on par with others..
when situation arrive where comparision are un-avoidable
i seems to fear the opponent..

i will tell myself that
hmm.. tt guy will do a better job than i

he will be a greater guy than i

he will treat her well than i

he will blah blah blah than i...

why do i feel this way?

may be i wasnt born to be involve in this kinda battle

where u have to compete with others in order to win someone..

may be i was born lose such a battle...

a battle where i will think or say that i will fight through
but when it really comes in my face..

...hiax.....

coward u might say..

not brave enough to fight for something that

i treasure and love most..

i have tried to tell myself that i can do it..

no one can win me ( hehe)
i use to encourage myself..

however, the opponents always seem to be at the winning edge..

yeah may be i was just born to be a little nobody

just someone tt ppl can step over from time to time...

there are many things in life worth fighting for..

i know that the "thing" ( actually cant say thing) tt im saying now

is definitely worth fighting for..

they always say. in order to really treasure something
u have to fight for it 1st..

but do i really have the faith in myself to be able to fight??

am i even worth the chance to fight. . . .. . . .

teacher day 08

2008-08-30T14:51:00.000+08:00

yo....
HAPPY TEACHERS' DAY....

this is going out to all the teachers in the world..

but especially for KRANJI SEC teachers!!

you guys have been great to us..
we will never forget you guys...

the celebration was yesterday
and i did something that i havent done before

playing the violin infront of others..

i performed back in kranji
with our band name, "B.O.O.K"
which stands for

" Boys Out Of Kranji"

kheh hong and zi yang with their guitar

prabha with the drums
faizal with his vocal
stozer (me) with the violin..

i must say i very touched...

touched by kranji's and kranjians' support for us..

i mean...

though we arent already kranjians

but when the curtains were opened

the whole school saw us

and they gave us an indeed long and loud cheer!

im seriously bery greatful to them.

THANKS GUYS..

tt meant alot to us, as a alumni..

as a ex kranjian..

letting us feel that though we arent a kranjan another

but we will always be treated like one...

we played the song "Always be my baby" by david Cook

this song has a meaningful lyrics

and it means alot to me...

a song tt guides me on how should i lead my life

for the next few months..

after the performance

went to have lunch with 4E-ians 2007

had a great time catching up with them

after lunch some of them left

while the rest of us went to play volleyball
at some block near lot one.

though it was raining but it didnt dampen our mood

RIGHT?

soon, we were all tired

and went our seperate ways.. (home)

like how we did a few months back... walking seperate ways..

hiax..

anyway. Sher, Mok,Joanne,Wing,Mic and me head to the

stadium planning to play table tennis

BUT WHEN WE REACH... the whole slot till 9pm was being booked

hiax wasted...

we had not choice but to head home

sher and i

then went to bukit panjang plaza to have dinner with

fel and josh..

at 1st we planned to have it at starbucks

but u know sher and fel..
they cant hold their laughter and starbuck was so QUIET!!

so we went to Cafe Cartel.

stayed at for 4 hrs till they close

and as usual our laughter covered the restaurant.

everyone was looking at us..

but we had fun!!
TRUE FUN!!

this is wat i mean when i say CHILL

and just having a "laughing" session with my friends..

just love this kinda meeting up

hehe...

dont worry more will come ...

take care guys

for those JCs- good luck for ur promos
for those Polys- happy holiday!

injection

2008-08-25T16:36:00.000+08:00

Poof!!!
man this blog is getter dustier by the day

have to post more often le..

haha...

welll today went to Tan Tock Seng Hospital

to have me injectionS!!!

man do i hate and fear of injections...

some of you might this " who doesn't"
but i know people who just love to take injections..

strange right!!

haha in-human!!
hehe!!

yeah Tan Tock Seng can said to be the 1st

every singapore hospital that i ever been to..

haha..

and let me tell u guys this..

it gives me a totally different feeling abt hospital

when it is being compare with malaysia.

1st its well maintained

well air coned

and the best thing is

IT DOESNT EVEN LOOK LIKE A HOSPITAL

it looks more like a shoppping mall to me...

they have starbucks, 7 eleven, kopitiam, mr bean. etc

haha COME ON~~!

its just like any other shopping mall

just that it has more patient and doctors..haha

and back to the injections...

man.... whenever i have my injections

i will feel ''ger-li" (Chinese word) the whole day...

how ppl lie when they say that injections is just like having an ant bite

LIAR!!

HAHA

im fine with the needle poking into my skin

BUT i cant stand the thought of they inserting something into my body

YUCK!!!

agrrr.....

but i have to say that

the way they inject in singapore is way faster than in malaysia

in singapore.

the moment u feel the needle poke into ur skin

it is already taken out... and its all done

but in back here!!!!
OH MY!!
you can slowly feel the needle going into ur skin

then u can feel the fluid slowly being pushed in

then the needle is slowly pulled out

everything is SLOW MOTION...

agrrrrr!

but thanks God is all over now hehe

but my hand still feels abit numb and pain...

I CANT STOP THINKING ABT IT!!

......

me

2008-08-15T21:37:00.000+08:00

Row Row Row Row Row
no... i am not a Rowing a boat...
Instead im actually Rowing down the hill
both in my life and my studies...

NO matter how much i study
no matter how much i try
my grafes are not showing
but why???
this is like the 1st....
what is actually happening

to be frank... i dont think i have enough time when i
came to Poly...
oh dont get me wrong.. i didnt spend most of my time playing
come to think abt it... i dont even think i play at all!!
every single day, i will rush home right after school end..
but why am i not having enough time to study...
when i was back in kranji..
though i play frisbee every single day...
stay back till very late..
but i still had plenty of time for me to study..
but why this time .. its different...

i feel so weak in my subjects...
this is the 1st time i am feeling such a way...
though effort was being put in..
but no product formed!!
what is this...

i have been thinking
have i chose the Wrong course?
should i had followed my heart
and not my mom's and bro's comment
should i have just went to Mass Com
to do what i like.. and have interest in
even if i am struggling there, at least
im doing for something that i like...
hiax....

Poly life its like.... the opposite of heaven
sob.... struggling here!!
NOT FUN DE...

Not only my studies is not gg well
even my life...
hiax...
miss you...
3 mths down, 3 more mths to go..
i will be waiting...
for tt day...
hopes it comes and end up the way
i always dream it to ....
smile!!!

A song of words

2008-08-03T21:22:00.000+08:00

To You:

If you're not the one then why does my soul feel glad today?
Just thinking about you, feels good
If you're not the one then why does my hand fit yours this way?
I really miss those days when our hands were one.
If you are not mine then why does your heart return my call
Staring blanking each time at my phone.
If you are not mine would I have the strength to stand at all
You are the sole reason.

I never know what the future brings
I dont dare to expect much , but i always still do
But I know you are here with me now
In the only way we can, hearts
We'll make it through
I'll make sure it does
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Are you willing to?

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
Im like a lost sheep
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am?
I have always believed in my heart, and will do the same now.
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
Is there?

If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?
Sometimes it feels better
If I don't need you then why does your name resound in my head?
Its the sweetest things i ever heard.
If you're not for me then why does this distance maim my life?
This was what i feared the most.
If you're not for me then why do I dream of you as my wife?
Will this dream ever be true?

I don't know why you're so far away
May be i really didnt think much for u in the past.
But I know that this much is true
We'll make it through
This i promise you
And I hope you are the one I share my life with
Will you?
And I wish that you could be the one I die with
Till the last day we part.
And I pray in you're the one I build my home with
There is no one else tt i would rather do this other than with you.
I hope I love you all my life
You are my life.

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
May be im too dumb to.
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
Please tell me tt my heart is correct
Is there any way that I can stay in your arms?
for eternity.

Cause I miss you, body and soul so strong that it takes my breath away
If only u know how much i've missed you
And I breathe you into my heart and pray for the strength to stand today
As when each day passes, its a day closer.
Cause I love you, whether it's wrong or right
There isnt a right or wrong when it comes to Love.
And though I can't be with you tonight
Or for the few more weeks to come
And know my heart is by your side
It has never once left you since day one.

I don't want to run away but I can't take it, I don't understand
Will i ever understand?
If I'm not made for you then why does my heart tell me that I am
I know you ARE!
Is there any way that I could stay in your arms?
Only you know this.

If we human are made by God and are put to this world
to know many of the opposite sexs as friends so that we
can find "The One" for us.
then i have to tell God this.
" thanks. And now i only need to meet Male friends. As i've already found the one for me!"

a steel or tooth pick

2008-07-23T16:01:00.000+08:00

Is life just a journey that each an everyone of us must walk through..
Or its just something more?

But I don’t feel it now?
Why is it so…. Life?
What a word…
so near yet so far..

I have a ques for u guys.
What do you guys think,
is life as strong as a steel bar.
Where, no matter what comes to it.
No matter what u do to it,
it will still be standing there strong?

Or is life, like a tooth pick.
It MAY look strong but with one snap..
bang!
Its broken and gone..

After some period, I suddenly feel that life is so fragile…
so weak , so break-able..
Nth seems to be real, nth seem to be important….
Just life…

Why is it that, ppl from different around the world,
although they hold the same thing; life.
Yet they view it differently?
In America or even Singapore,
ppl always say they wanna to end their life,
wanna commit sucide.
Do they really view so little of their own life?

But ppl in south Africa,
they are struggling every single day just to stay alive?

life is really too short for one to waste, to take it for granted..
we do not know what will happen the next moment.
ur life might just end at that very moment.
an accident, a heart attack, got stabbed.....etc..

someone once told me that. it isnt how u life but the way u do..
how are u going to treasure or waste ur life...
just think abt it guys? how have u been livining for the past few year?
how have u displayed urself for others to judge you?
are u going to stick with that life style for the next decades
or are u going to change...
the power of changes is in our hands...

it has been a few weeks that i understand and feel the feeling of
having alot of things that you wanna do but u dont have much time left..
its only after 17 years that i really thought abt what i really wanna do and accomplish
in my this pathetic life..

i also learnt that we cant expect too much from the future
.......

just a dream

2008-07-09T09:34:00.000+08:00

Was just checking on my blog when i
found out that it really has been some time since i posted something..
hehe... why is it so?
in the past, i can almost post abt from everything to anything
every single day..
but now,.... it seems as though
i have to squeeze out something so that
i can blog a little of something oin my blog
so that it will be alive...
why has it turn out to be this way?
can anyone of u kind soul out there
pls enlighten this poor boy?
lol!

today i will post something short,
but something which i feel tt its sweet...
it isnt something that i saw in the streets ...
its not something that happened to me.. ( i mean not directly)

i had a dream 2 days ago...
although i was a super short one...
but it was something that i will remember..

i dreamt that, i also dont know why
but i was wearing Kranji Uniform again
i think i was walking back home from school..
or was it walking to school
either one..
i was just chatting with my friends, making a hell of a noise
as usual
and while i was laughing SUPER loudly
i had a glimpse of an eye
and saw that u were just walking behind me and my friends
with your friends...

you caught my glimpse
and in no time, u just stop over there...
letting ur friends go 1st...
although we didnt exchange any form of communication of any
form of signal or wat so ever.
you just know that i will leave my friends and walk towards you..
and indeed, i did!!..
in the end of course we spend time together..

to many or all of u guys
this might be like
'' so what?"
but it isnt to me...
the feeling of us knowing each other so well tat we know
what each other wants or each other will do even without saying it out....
and the feeling of you waiting for me..
like the past..... waiting for me.......
hehe..

but it was all a dream
and ppl do say tt
when u remember ur dreams
most likely it wont really happen in reality..
is it true?

will my dream come true?....

hiax

2008-07-02T14:20:00.000+08:00

No one's heart is made of metal or steel
nor is it made of gold or silver.
each and everyone's heart is made up of
flesh, pure flesh
flesh that would get hurt or damaged.
flesh that can feel the pain when it is boiled
flesh that can feel the pain when it is burnt
flesh that can feel all sorts of pain by all sort of damage.
and my heart is no different..

is it the heart that feels the pain
or
is it the mind tt tells the nerve that there is pain...?
when such things happen
which is the one that feels the pain?
for me, it starts from the ears..
my ears are the 1st the feel the pain,
then followed by my brain who feel sorrow and transport the messenge
to the heart, that feels the real damage
and all these can be seen from the outside...
But God is clever.....
He makes the eyes do the trick...

it feels so weird now...
everything....

im not made special by no one....
i feel pains too...
but ................ but.........

sorry guys, i cant tell u what has happened...
i really need time... alone...
just let this lost sheep wander anywhere it wants...
he now belongs to no one and no where.....

CFN 08!

2008-06-28T16:18:00.000+08:00

As you guys can see from the pics...
we really had a blast on fri night...
although we are not from kranji anymore, but so what?
Fun isnt just for kranjians right? its also for Alumni!
DONT YOU GUYS AGREE WITH ME????

sometimes im just so proud of my friends... 4E'07
always so supportive..

and Joshua, shirlynn, cheryl, alicia
we really live up to the name
'' the DIY team!"

lets just think back. for all the customes that we wore
and went for the competition ( except for sec 3's CFN)
which isnt a great product from the " the DIY team"?

and which isnt a good job done?

To be frank with u guys out there
this idea was a super last min one

it was on thurs night while i was on my way home

tt i thought of this.. and the customes and props were not done yet
no no, i should say not even FOUND yet

haha..

went ALOT of places with joshua and WALKED ALOT

haha right josh?

and in the end we went to do a tailor made shirt!!!

lucky the things that need to make the costumes

can be found in popular
hence whenever i wanna DIY something...
POPULAR is the 1st choice!!

haha

but the feeling of dressing up

and walking around the school again, is just heavenly..

just looking around the school and see how much it has changed.
makes me feel tt, i have grown up.
chating with the teachers, reminded me how close i was with them
and how much they have aided me for the past few years!!

thank you!!

and the best part is 4E united..
or at least most of 4E
4E just look at the pic tt we took together tt night
just stare at each and everyone there..

and u will see how many things we had gone through as a class
how many funny and stupid things tt we had done..

how much fun that was created by us!!

haha

4E'07! you guys are irreplacable!!

i also dont know what else to write le..
mind in a chaos now
let the pics tell the story to u guys
let it do the job...

i hope that those who were there on that night

had great fun there and saw what josh and i did
and loved the idea. it really meant a lot to us.
but, sorry. that may be the last time i will dress up

for a kranji event...
as my doings has left others to not feel happy

specially.......

so i have decided to go as a normal alumni for the

next kranji event....
smile guys!!!!

Ex Ex Game master!

2008-06-21T22:02:00.000+08:00

am i still bad with separation?
am i born to be a sticky spider web
and not be like water
which just flow off of things with no resistance?
and only leaving its trail, allowing others to know that
it was once here?

No matter whether im a spider web or water
the fact is that, the feelin in me is still there
the feeling that i thought i has surpress deep in my heart and mind.
the feeling that i thought i have already got over it..
but it seems as though i was wrong, again!!
the feeling can nvr be forgotten.
it played too big a part of me, for me to forget abt it!
how could i even think that it has not been a part of me now?
i was too ignorant. too naive,
my thoughts were to simple.
i belittled it...
i know it now!!!
i was wrong!!

i was been giving another chance, to relive the old days..
the days when stozer was made stozer..
the days when my chin was up high, and my chest was up!
the days when i had nothing but fun and more fun!
the days where sweat where given up, and sometimes even blood was oozed out
the days where laughter was so common tt many thought tt it was another
form of communication.
the days tt my teeth were always reflecting the sunlight against others
( as when i smile, my teeth are shown)

some of u might be thinking the wrong direction already..
i just got back from SSC selection camp and Health and Fitness camp
organised by our very own Kranji Sec 3 SSC!!!!!
although i wasnt very actively involved in all activities
but just observing how the sec 3 ssc does things,
and just lookin at them running around, joking, laughin, pratically just having fun
reminds me of how much fun my batch and i had.

the Perfect thing was that
this year's camp site was the same site as the camp
that my batch organised the selection camp 3 years ago!
with that, memories were gushing into my mind easier..
looking at each corner, i could remember what did we do
and it was as though at every corner something funny happen..
Nathan and i was sharing some of those funny things with
Yi han and Isabel and they asked
'' eeyeer why did they have so many things happen de?"
not to worries girls, ur SSC journey has only started..
you girls still have a long way to go, lots more fun waiting for u!

This camp, not only allowed me to remember my days as an SSC member
it also allowed me to catch up with Nathan, Miss Wong, Mr Yeo, Mr Seah, Mr Ong and Mr Kong.
although Mr Teo was there too, but he left on the 2nd day..
and the important thing was that, i was given a chance to get to know the sec 3
alittle better.
and i have to say, they are really bonded..!
much more bonded then my batch!
GOOD JOB GUYS!

however, said to say tt
while i was in that camp, my old weakness started to come back
i started to compare my life when i was in kranji and my current life.
i have to admit that i had MUCH more fun in kranji
did much more crazy stuff there
known more friends there.
but no matter how hard or how much i compare.
does it change the fact that i am already out of it?
i am still in the Kranji-Dreamy-Island.

To be frank, my yellow SSC shirt has been my wadrobe for
quite sometime, and i havent even wore it since last year's Mid autumn festival?
i mean you guys cant blame me, what other chance do i have to wear that?
Able to wear it again... MAN is that feeling just great!
haha!!

and i have to agree with Zilia~!!
'' I LOVE SSC!!''

i have to say a few words b4 i end this post..
For all the sec 2, congrats to all those tt got selected, welcome to the family
and for those who didnt get selected dont be sad.. its alright!!

Thank, Mr Yeo for allowing me to go back this year! THANKS ALOT!
Thank, Yi han for staying another night to have more fun, although u have tons of un-finished homework!! thank you!!
Thank, Isabel for Pang seh-ing me!!! thanks alot ya!
Thank, Danial chia for calling me emo!
Thanks the WHOLE sec 3 ssc for not outcasting me!!

you guys take care k!!
and do SSC proud!
stay happy!

P.S - haha Yihan so did u keep the 2 apple sticker?
hehe :P!!!!

too late?

2008-06-16T20:53:00.000+08:00

I was just listening to the radio and the song
‘apologize’ by timberland came on air.
I began to really listen to the lyrics and feel the song,
and I release that for the past few weeks,
many things has happento my life.
Many things have ‘spiced’ it up.
things that I rather not happen.
and things that I would really wanna change the ending if
I was given another chances to do so.
there seems to be a lot of songs that can be used to describe my life now..
my feelings, my thoughts.. lol!!
sometimes I even think if the singers were singing about my life..

as I was saying, the song ‘apologize’
I have done something really ignorant that hurted someone.
someone that would be the last person that I would ever wanna hurtin my entire life.
Someone that I would never wanna even hurt
I am aware that apologizing wouldn’t make a difference.
As, just by saying the word‘sorry’ doesn’t make a difference.
Just by saying that word, doesn’t make time rewind.
(Oh how I wish it can, then I can change the outcome)
but I don’t know how or what else can I do to make u feel better
or is it just an excuse.
Do ppl say sorry to one another just to make themselves feel
better, but not for the victim?
I am lost,
what can I do to make ur trust be back to me?
what can I do to make u not to be this disappointed?
what can I do to make things improve between us?
what can I do to make you not feel so little abt me?

Im the best person in this whole white world to know that
this isn’t the best time to happen such a thing between us.
when there are competitors everywhere.
where they are most likely in the winning edge
where I am fighting helplessly with parangs and spears
when they are all armed with tanks and jets.

Its like the 1st series of the show SHERK.
the one who is able to rescues Fiona would be the one that she fall in loves and marries
if anyone of you becomes the Dragon.
Which knight will you be more afraid of.
someone with parangs and spears riding a donkey
or
someone with tanks and jets?

I have to admit, that I am just like SHERK
I may not be very dashing,
im not one that when walks
across the street, ppl would just daze at me with their mouth and eyeswide open.
I may not be as Cool as some ppl.a
nd when it comes to relationships.
Im like SHERK again.
I may not say everything with my mouth,
sometimes I also may not do thingsthat show u that I care and love you.
I might be stubborn at times..
but in my heart, I know that you are the one.
It may seems as though my mouth is hard but heart is SUPER soft.
May be its my bad for not
showing or expressing my feelings out. But……

This might sound rubbish to most of you guys
but STOZER is shy!!!
lol ( guys, stop ur ‘ yeah-right’ reaction)
its true, I don’t know how many of you believe it but yeah.
when u are with ur friends.
I don’t really feel comfortable approaching you.
Even if I did, I will act very odd wards.
May be its because I don’t know them well or some sort.

that night seeing you so high with ur friends
so excited to congrats your band friends…
I wanted to approach you,
even asked JL to get ready the camera
but something just struck my mind,
‘ will I be a turn off for her?’
will I be interrupting?
its like, suddenly I feel as though u are the COOL gang
and im just the average guy
( must be watch too much ang moh shows)

But, no worries.
I will over-come myself; the inner me
that is somehow causing trouble between us..
and I will do all I can to make things go better for us..

but will it be too late to really apologize to someone?

Birthday girl

2008-06-09T22:19:00.001+08:00

it really has been some time since i blogged!
haha
sorry guys, was kinda busy though!
but i must blog toay
as today is a very important day!!
no.... its not my birthday, NO i didnt win any prize
NO, i didnt win any tournament
No, i didnt go and eat buffet!

today is YEE GIN'S birthday!
yeah!! she turn 16 le!!
to many of u guys, u must be thinking..
sixteen only.... so?
but i dont care!
im just happy that she is a year older
im happy for her!!

man, i can tell u this
this girl , she is extremely popular among her friends
next time when u wanna celebrate with her for her birthday
my advise to u guys is to BOOK her months before her birthday
if not, u guys dont even think about spending her birthday with her!
haha!!
(Gin, you know that its true)

For those who didnt know that today its her birthday
Now u do, so NOTE it down now!!
next year must giver her a present.
For those who didnt manage to celebrate for her
you know the trick now!
haha !!
try it next year
believe me it will work
( that is if u guys can be faster than me next year,
as i learnt my lesson)

Hoped that she had a blast today..
i know she surely did, she always have great fun
when she is with her girlfriends
right?
i would also wanna thank, Gin's friend for
bringing so much laughter and joy to her!
THANKS YOU GUYS!!

and lastly
HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIN!
1 hr 30 mins more to the end of the day
enjoy the last few moment of ur birthday
May u be happy always and be joyous each and everyday
May u be care-free and cheerful always!!

take care yeah!
stay happy and
stay beautiful
and u look GREAT today!

The story of the sun

2008-05-31T22:22:00.000+08:00

You are just like the sands on the beach.
The harder i hold on to u, the faster u slip away from my palms.
Seeing the beads of sand just slid off my palm.....
Feeling the weight on my hand getting lighter and ligther,
just staring blankly at my hands while u go away....

Once you have totally left my hands and merge with
the beach, you wanna me to treat u like the other sands..
in order to locate u, it will take me 198 days
Not knowing if i will still get a chance to hold on to u after that.

standing on the beach, lookin at the sunrise and sunset alone.
the feeling of empty-ness engulf me.
im lost, alone, fearful,
looking around at the whole beach,
there is no one with me.
im all alone.
tried to search and locate ur shadow.
but the only one that i could find was mine.
just mine.

Are sunrise and sunset meant to be appreciate by a
single boy?
Is the sunrise and sunset meant for one or two?
Is the sun just like me?
waking up and sleeping each day, hoping that tomorrow will be a better day
praying that the next day will be the day that we have been waiting
since long?

Are you the Moon, and am i the Sun?
where, although we both exist in the same world, same universe.
but we seldom get to see each other
the Sun comes out during the day
while the Moon comes out during the night
and onces in a very long time
they get to met and see each other.
althought its only a few sec
but at least they still spend time together
each time after each met, always hoping that
the next will arrive soon
( The Eclipse)

Should i be just like the Sun
always shining on others, bringing life and laughter to others
although alone?
knowing that one day the Moon (you) will be back with me?
or will she?

The Sun might seem always bright, sunny
giving u guys an impression of a cheery, sunshine boy
Some might be happy to see the Sun
Some might love to see the Sun
but have u guys ever thought
who does the Sun wanna to see most?

No matter how the day pass by
whether the Sun is shining up there
or whether the sky is covered by dark clouds
or the earth is shined by the Moon's ray
or whatever
I will Always be YOUR Baby...

What abt you?

Hell NO!

2008-05-27T22:06:00.000+08:00

Is it because i did something darn evil in my past life?
or
Is it because i havent been praying enought to God?
or
Is it because i have been a very Bad Boy?
or
Is it because i havent been filial to my parents?
or
What is is because of?

Why is Heaven treating me this way?
i am truely hurt this time...
I have never felt so badly hurt before.
Is it because i loved her way too much?
Everything was going nicely ( or at least i think it is, as she seldom tells me her problem)
why did it have to end this way?
is this some sort of punishment for me?

If it is, God, Please use some other ways to punish me
please dont play with our relationship
i treasure it way too much...
losing her once, is too many!!!
You can always find other ways to do it
but NOT this...

Although we seldom meet, although we sledom go out
although we dont really act like a couple when we are outside.
but inside us, we are already one...

No Sun is able to light up my mood
No Night can be darker then my mood.
What is a rainbow when all i see are dark clouds?
i am not strong, not strong at all..
i am weak! i cant take such a blow
i rather the whole world call me a 'Gay' or a ' Ah Qua'
then you leave me...
all i want is for you to be back.

people say that our hearts are on the left side or ur chest.
but for me , whenever i think of this
i feel very umcomfortable in between my chest
its like, someting is stuck there.
i wanna to shout, and may be even cry
but its just cant.........

I HATE YOU! ME! HE! HER! THEY! US!
I hate every single thing!!
this life is so unfair!!
why must we go through so much things while
other can have a safe sailing?
im just an ordinary person, im no where special
im just STOZER CHAN
not super man nor bat man not even iron man!

i might not remember every single thing that u said to me
but im sure you told me this once in ur sms
'' I won't leave you!''
i still remember clearly that i just came out of science centre's mac
after a meeting
while crossing the road
and your sms came.
Then i felt very secured, very glad
but now..........

i had a hunch that this would happen
i thought that i was ready
i thought that i was just thinking too much
i thought that you wont make this happen
but once it was standing infront of me..
i was taken aback. i didnt know what to do!

To be frank, what's my view is
there is exactly NO reason in this whole wide world
for us to separate..
separation shouldn't even be in our choices...

sob!

2008-05-18T21:23:00.000+08:00

If love isnt for you and me,
then I don’t know who love is made for.

people often say that when a couple starts a relationship,
their minds and heart will interlink.
a party will often affect the other party’s mood and thoughts.
to be frank, at first I totally didn’t believe in it…
I was like thinking, how can it be…
my heart it mine and your heart is yours, same goes for the mind
that was AT FIRST.
but now, I agree to it to the fullest extent that I can go.

just by reading your sms I can sense your mood
and not knowingly it has also affected mine..
I will get very annoyed, emo, having hack care kind of attitude
when your sms’s mood isn’t goodbut when your mood is great,
I will just feel excited when reading your sms.y
ou, and you guys out there might not believe this
but it doesn’t really matter ,
as I know its true. That’s wat counts

Now I just feel so….
I don’t know how to say
I just feel that I haven’t been myself these few days.
Am I a great guy?(HOPE SO)
Do I get your hints to me? (NO)
Do I know what you are thinking b4 u even say it?(NOT SURE)
Am I irritating you? ( MAY BE?)
Am I the guy you always long to be with even when you were small? ( OH GOD! PLEASE YES?)

Im just very moody right now
there are a lot of voices and words that are bombarding within me
wanting to gush out of my body, my mouth, my nose, my ears
but there are somethings that
It is better to be kept inside
even if it is uneasy!

After all these,
all I wanna to tell YOU and to tell you guys is that
I LOVE HER very much indeed!!
hope that she can feel that too!

(sorry for the tone in this post, received a not so good sms from her)

a emotional birthday

2008-05-12T12:07:00.000+08:00

If there was anyone who were to tell u that

friends arent important in life and that you can do without them

then let me tell u this

go and tell that person to kick the bucket!

No one and i really mean No one can do without friends

even countries these days cant survive without other countries ( friend)
let alone us!

take me for an example.

i have to admit that i have alot of friends

most of them are quality friends

and some of them are seriously friends that i been through thick and thin and

that i seriously treasure our relationship!
come to think of it...
i think i live for my friends and of course YOU! * wink *

if Someone were to tell u
" friends are the best thing is my life"
u give him/her a pat in the back

If a Someone were to tell u

" Friends is all i have"
u give him/ her a hug

But if someone to tell u
" You are my friend!"

then you know who u can find whenever u need someone..!!

well, my birthday is getting nearer each day
it is actually tomorrow
May 13th

and a group of my friends from my secondary school

gathered together on sat to help me celebrate it in advance!

Man, was the night fun and a touching one!!

i have a mix of emotion that night!

my friends brought me to the Glass House ( Fish n Co)

where we had a blast there!!

the location was perfect, the atmospher was just wonderful
there was even a life band that kept on singing there!!

able to spend my birthday with friends that i missed dearly after leaving kranji

in that place was a very emotional thing for me.!

i mean just think about it...
they are the friends that you laughed with, mugged with. did crazy stuff with.

friends that heard the same nagging from the same teachers as you.

friends that shared the same complain as you..

friends that ate the same food as u in sec school.. ( sometimes )

friends that sweat with you doing ur PE times..

friends that killed the same amount of brain cells as you while doing homework...!!

and although you guys have separated and have different lifes now
they still remember ur birthday, and out of their hectic life now, they can still come out time

to plan for the celebration and come out time to celebrate with you!

the best part of it was that while you guys were together
the feeling of being back into the past was there!
if you werent to think, you might have thought that you guys are back to
being secondary school students!!

there are 2 thing about the night that i will not ever forget

1st -

the moment shermain gave me the present, it was a huge photo frame where

it was pasted with pictures that we took during our sec school life. The times that we had. The crazy moments.The stressful moments. The emo moment. it was like, i have already left kranji, and yes i still miss it alot, but i cant remember everything that i have done that. BUT that night, when that present was laid on my hands, the pictures just brought back every single event, and all of them was gushing through my mind. bringing back memories...!!! the most impt thing was that it reminded me that i am a KRANJIAN, and that I AM PART OF YOU GUYS!!..

2nd-

the way shermain laughed on that night. i am sure that everyone that was there wont forget it, arent i right? but i would also like to thank her, for creating that atmosphere, if not it wont be fun if we were to jus sit down there have our meal slowly and have some giggles...!!

i want to thank all of you guys

SHERMAINE, FELICIA, JOSHUA, DION, WEI XUN

SHER - for planning the night, choosing the perfect location, for giving me the gift that i will really treasrure. For attending the dinner although ur leg was injuried, i really appreciated that ! For not forgetting my birthday, For allowing my to taste and re-enjoyed how was it like with u guys!For being a sister of laughter and joy. For always giving me advise, showing support to me and to care of me!

FEL- For attending the dinner of course, celebrating my bd with me. although we might just be close for 1 yr or so, but the feel is like we have been close friends for years and more years to come! For telling jokes on that night to make me laugh!

JOSHUA - for leaving his PW group to attend the celebration. For not forgetting me as ur friend. For showing me wat is call brotherhood.For being a ear for me whenever i need it. For always giving him best to attend all our gatherings even if he has something on already. FOr being a sport. and of course for being the camera man for the night!!

DION- for spending the WHOLE day with me. For taking the risk of being screwed by his parents and return home much later than what he promised. For always asking me how i am doing in NP. For planning the celebration with sher. FOr being a great bro! For being my consultant and advisor in almost everything!

WEI XUN- For going for the celebrate despite being ''pook''. For making us high, for takin the videos, for being a supportive friend. For being a someone that i know you will nvr be too busy for a friend..

To all - after that night, i thought about everything that happen for past few years, and i came to a conclusion. And that is '' I HAVE NOT MADE THE WRONG FRIENDS!"

i am seriously 100% very thankful for each and everyone of you, for what you guys have done for me, i am touched, if my eye lid werent so high, tears would have spilt and poured down from it.!

this post might be a normal one for u guys, but it means alot to me... My grattitue to u guys cant be written down in words. For the 1st time Stozer chan is lost with words!!

Thank you guys!! You guys are what i call friends! Or even more!!! TAKE CARE!

Can NP be the Next Kranji?

2008-04-27T15:30:00.000+08:00

hmm. can i just ask
is it just me or its time really crawling for the past few weeks...
it seemed to me like months
but its just has been 2 weeks since school started..!
man....

haha throught the above verse
i know that you guys wouldhave a rough idea of how my life is in NP
hehe..
who says that Poly life is very slack?
who says that Poly life is all about Play?
who says that Poly life is much more fun than in secondary sch life?
who says that Poly life is just cool?

i mean may be Poly life can be all that.
but its not yet '' that'' to me..
but i have to say one thing about poly life..
as each lesson slot is one hour, not like kranji's 40 minutes
hence when u are in school..it seems as though the lesson end very fast
'' eh , next lessons already?''
may be its all thanks to the accompany of my laptop ( Joanna)
that made the time flies for me..hehe
but a sad thing its tat. in kranji.or in sec schits the teachers that comes to ur class when its
the next subject
in Poly. you are the one that walks from the lecture hall to the next
the next lab to the next..man sometimes its tiring...

but i havent been really listenning to lessons..hehe
when Joanna is not with me.
i wont just read my story book in class
while the lecturer yank all the way.
when Joanna is with mei would just go on MSN, Blog,Friendster etc..hehe
you kids dont follow me ar!

what i hate most about my school ( life science and chemical technology)
is that it is located on the hill
the highest point in the whole NP
hence whenever i am late or almost late
even if i were to run to my school
i wont make it on time
having that excerise everyday is a killer thing forand old man like me!

and NP has a rule
if you are 10 mins late, u r counted as late
if you are 15 mins late, you are counted at absent..
with this, it makes us really wan to reach class b4 15 mins late
hiax... and i thought that once i am in poly i dont hvae to rush to get to sch
on time
as when i was in kranji
even if i was late, no punish ment was given to me
as i am a MALAYSIAN *grin*
but now... hiax...HATE IT!!

and i relised that poly teachers arent as good as kranji's teachers
not as in their knowledge
but their teaching style
they dont seem to be as approachable as teachers in kranji..
kranji's teachers are more willing to teach u
one on one....but in poly
its like u r on ur own... you dont know
ok fine, go read books in the library!
its more on independent studying
and im not use to it..

i really regret not paying attention in class while i was in kranji
regret not enjoying the times that i had there
instead of taking it for granted..!
but its just too late to think about all those things...

can Ngee Ann Poly really be the Next kranji in my heart?

E sports day tt i wasnt suppose to be there!

2008-04-20T17:21:00.000+08:00

Wow, it has really been some time since i posted on something,
well today will be the day for me do to so.
i would like to post on what happened fri
which really made me feel over joyed, comfortable and just be myself.

i would 1st talk on the most current one.
and that was Kranji Sec 2008 Sports day
i have to admit, that i pon my school (NP)
and went to the stadium for the sports day
eh come on guys, you cant blame me
i merely reported to the WRONG school.
but strictly speaking i still went to school right...
but just now the right one.

but anyway, the feel was just Great, or shall i say
the atmosphere of the highness was just right
it reminded me of how i used to spend my sports day in kranji
for the past 4 years...
i felt a greater sense of feeling over there than in NP
although i have already graduated..

i was really happy to see you guys again..!!! really really GLAD
but i dont understand why so many ppl are thanking me.
thanking me for going back to kranji?
i went there because i miss u guys and kranji and RHINO
there is nothing for u guys to thank me
LOL!!
no need to thank de....!!
as i am the one tt wans to see u guys!
so i should be the one
THANKING YOU GUYS FOR WELCOMING ME
even though i shouldnt be there!

When i 1st went to Rhino's area
their cheering was really soft.
everyone inculding themselve knew that, that wasnt even close to their standard
in the 1st place i didnt want to interfer what the cheer leaders were doing
as they are suppose to be the one tt are in charge or rhino now
not me
but i just couldnt take it anymore
and i just went up there and started to talk to them
asked them to cheer and encouraged them
luckly, those who knew who i am gaved me '' face'' and started to cheer along
me standing in front of the whole Rhino squad and they listening to my command..
wow!!! it was as though my life has been rewinded
and i was back in year 2007~!
where all the fun ended at the end of 2007!
hiax...

One thing that i didnt expect to happen was the level disrespect in Rhino
as when i went back, i didnt wear my long white pants
instead i was in my SHORT GREEN pants
( and i could still fit in it... sob, this shown tt i havent grown since then)
ya back to point
and i went personally around to ask people to squeeze together and be compact
there a quite a few sec 1s or 2s that i think they didnt know who i was
and when i asked them to move
they were lik staring at me and looking at my pants
thinking '' you are just a lower sec just like me, what rights do you have?"
and they didnt even care abt me!!
lol!!
ME? a lower sec?
Lol
but it isnt their fault either
they nvr even seen me b4
the 1st time was in sports day
how do i expect them to know who i am!!
hehe

to my surprise....
i only got to know this once i was home
there was a meeting that every house masters and mistress had
and the meeting was ABOUT ME?!?!?!?!??!!?
they were discuss on whehter i was to be allowed to
be in the cheerings and whether i should lead rhino!
lol... i was kind of shocked that the teachers actually had a meeting just because of me?
haha!!!
was i that influencal?
Did my appearance, swayed the confidence of the other house masters/mistress?
( wah getting more and more BHB here)
but ya...
and in the end...
i wasnt allowed to cheer...
actually i didnt plan to, as im not really a Rhino anymore!

instead of cheering, i did a stupid thing...
not say stupid la. something that
i didnt see anyone did b4 in kranji's sports day history
i became a cheer leader
as in one that dance and jump around with pongs pongs
and i did it alone
it might look kind of stupid as i heard that
Alot of people including the st johns and the PE teachers down on the track
were laughin at me!
hehe....!!

but in the end
RHINO didnt win both Overall or Cheering competition
we got 3rd for Overall last year 1st!
and 2nd for Cheering Last year 5th i think
but its ok
we will have next yaer

CONGRATS to jaguar the champs!!!
but im sure that Rhino had fun cheering with me right?!!?!?

LSCT pic

2008-04-12T14:42:00.000+08:00

yo, just like what i promised u guys

here are some pics that were taken in my LSCT FOC 08/09 camp
a camp that i truely had fun in!

LSCT!!!

2008-04-05T21:30:00.000+08:00

i want to thank
Yee Gin, Haiqel, Joshua, Yan hua and some other friends
for persuading me to go for LSCT FOC camp
a camp that i really doubt of going
a camp that i thought that i wont be having a blast there!
a camp that i thought that i would be very silent and that
i wont like the camp!!

but i was wrong, SO SO SO wrong
if wasn't for them i would have really missed a chance to have a
great time in that camp!
LSCT rox!!
for those who doesnt know what LSCT stands for
it means Life Science and Chemical Technology ( LSCT)
its my block/my school!

at 1st, we had a briefing b4 the camp start
the briefing was complusary for all LSCT students
where the lab and school rules were being passed
but the camp was optional.
during the briefing, i was totally SIAN dao
i looked around and look at the GLs ( group leaders)
and thought to myself
'' the last camp that i went for, the GLs was so DARN hyper and
that i didnt really enjoyed myself, and these GLs arent really that hyper
will i suffer in this camp?''

after the briefing ending and
we had to gather to be grouped to different groups
during that time
this question repeatedly ran in my mind
'' WHY THE HELL DID I COME HERE!! at this time i would be at home doing.....''
ya
as i only decided to go for the camp very last min
at 1st i already decided not to go, i was even ready to write an email
for the person in-charged, telling him i wasnt going
but in the end i made up my mind and at 11 plus PM ,
just the night b4 the camp.
ok back to topic.
i was so bored that i even decided to book out after dinner..

but things changed...
once i was grouped.
i looked at my team mates, and i just got a feeling that
this camp is going to be different from the last one
and i was going to have fun!
and i wasnt wrong.
at the very 1st game
ice breaker
i was kind of high
was myself i should say
and the feeling was good!!
but i could have been HIGHER in the whole camp
but overall it was still good!

i got quite well with my group
and know quite a few friends
although only 2 in my course but
who said that i can only knoe friends from my course!
lol
the camp was really DIRTY!!
not as in dirty in the mind kind of dirty
but the games are meant for us to be dirty!
before going for the camp
i was told that LSCT camp was famous for making us dirty
but i didnt know it was THAT dirty!!
at the end of the 1st day
i was just soaked with mud!!
it was still acceptable

but on the 2nd day
wow!
my whole body, even my under garments, was soaked
and i mean soaked
with mud, raw eggs, flour, melted prata, ketcup, tomato, cooked rice, cook noodles etc
and do you know that with that combination
it really makes a good hair Gel
as my hair was very HARD after those camps!
that must be the DIRTIES camp i ever been b4
but if we were going to have dirty when we are having fun
its always worth it!!

all in all
i didnt regret going
even if i were to go for this camp again
i will still go with no regrets
the only regret i would have is if i didnt go for that camp!!
thanks
xiao wei, samuel, lao jess, wei jie and of course sigfried
for making this camp so fun!!

SIEGFRIED ohhhhhh!
sword check!!
SIEGFRIED ohhhhhh!
dragon check!!
SIEGFRIED ohhhhhh!
ready.............SAHHHHH!!!

someone comment tat my post ar too wordy
and havent post pics for quite sometime
so well
ok i promise you guys tt i will post pics
once i get my camp pics
ok?

the changed impression!

2008-03-31T16:00:00.000+08:00

have i made the wrong decision?
was i too implusive while making that decision?
did i look at the big picture when i made that decision?
should i even be the one to make that decision?
what were my reasons for that decision?

i dont know why but im feeling weird..
feeling as though i made the wrong decision.
not in relationship of course ( that is going very well, so you know)
but in the choice of which school i should go.
i remember quarreling with my mom telling her that i wan to go NP instead of SP
but i dont know
after coming back from NP's Freshmen Orientation Camp ( FOC)
i am starting to regretting entering to NP?
why do i have such a feeling?
that i cant explain as me myself don't really know!

i am really starting to look at the bad side of NP and
thinking of the good side of SP
my mom and i even have the decision of transfering me to SP!
i really do have to choose the school that i like
as i have to be there for 3 whole years.
i loved kranji
thus the 4 years over there was a blast
and it went very fast!
i want my poly life to be as fun as what i had in kranji
or even better!

the camp that i went was how to say....
not as fun as i thought it will be
or shall i say not the camp that i usually go to
to me, if time were to go back
i dont think i will re-enter and register for that camp
dont get me wrong, im not saying that the camp is TOTALLY un-fun
its very fun to others but to me its just.... ya!
as most of the camp or in fact all the camps that i been ar
either OBS, leadership camps or course camps
and this time is just a orientation camp
lesure camp.
there were ALOT and i mean ALOT of cheers going on!
too much cheering for me!

is it due to me no enjoying the camp
that caused me to have a bad impression on NP?
i will be going for another NP camp tomorrow
and until now i cant make up my mind whether i should go or not!
will it be as fun as the other camps that i went b4
or will be as ( not my type of camp) just like FOC?

the Main and Sole purpose of me going to FOC camp was to make new friends
but that camp didnt give me the mood to
the camp was the first camp
that make me not talk much, not to be active in the games , no mood for me to be high!
i was totally a low profile nobody over there
i didnt even care how people look at me or how i look!
i didnt gel my hair and most of the time it was very messy!
for the whole camp
i only met 4 guy friends, no girl
4 friends in a 4D3N camp?

if so i might as well not go for that camp?
the aim for me going for tomorrow's camp is also to make friends
but if im also going to make such a small number of friends
I MIGHT AS WELL NOT GO?!!?!?!??!
am i right to say so?
hiax

NP has really changed my impression of the campus
and camps...

The only way you should view things!

2008-03-23T13:02:00.000+08:00

To alot of people, i may seem to be a
Happy-Go-Lucky kind of guy.
that always smiles and it seems as i though
i often look at everything positively
being optimistic..
i also thought the same way..
thinking that im a very open-minded and care-free kid!!

until someone send me a mail
that reads......
FW: Maybe the Nicest Email Ever....And a positive view of the world.‏
and this mail really changed the way i reflect about most of the things in life...
even the simpliest and the most in-significant matter in life...

today i would like to share it with you guys
it might also do the same thing to you like what it did to me....
some of you might have recieve it
and just browse through it.
why not trying thinking about how
you normally react to this kind of situation and how
the the mail reacted.....
here goes....

This colour would means the mail's reactions.
While this colour would means OUR normal reactions...

I AM THANKFUL....

For the wife,
who says its hotdogs tonight,
because she is home with me,
and not out with someone else.
Oh my, Hotdogs again?
Can't you cook something else
im seriously getting sick of it !!

For the husband,
who is on the sofa,
being a couch potato,
because he is home with me,
and not out at the bars.
Eh,come on and help out with something!
Dont just laze down there!!

For the Teenager,
who is complaining about doing the dishes,
because it means that she/he is at home,
not on the streets.
Quit nagging, this is your responsibilty!
One more nag from you and you have to cook for yourself
starting TOMORROW!

For the Taxes i pay,
because it means
that im employed.
$4000?? come on!
What is the government doing?
What do i get by paying them these amount?

For the mess to clean after a party,
because it means that i,
have been surrounded by friends.
Hiax, me again..
why cant my some of my friends help out?
and they call themselve friends.

For the clothes that fit a little to snug,
because it means that
i have enough to eat
Oh Gosh, why cant these clothes just grow!!
agrrrrr!!!!!

For the shadow that watches me work,
because it means
im out in the sunshine.
Can you just STOP it it?!?!?
stop following my actions!!

For the lawn that needs mowing,windows that need cleaning,gutters that need fixing,
because it means
that i have a home.
Man this is troublesome,
cant someone just do it for me?

For all the complaining i hear about the government,
because it means
we have freedom of speech
( ok this i dont think we have a reaction)

For the parking spot that i found at the very far end of the parking lot,
because it means
i am capable of walking
and im blessed with a transport.
Stupid fools, cant those guys in the mall
get their cars now and go home right away?

For the piles of laundry and ironing
because it means
i have clothes to wear
AGRRR, why does the family bath so many times?!!!

For weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day
because it means
i have been capable of working hard.
( dont know about you guys, but that is my reaction)

For the alarm that goes off in the early morning hours
beause it means
im alive!
So early?!!
5 more mins??

yeah thats about it....
so what did you guys reflect?
see the big difference?
we often say this..
" i cant seem to look at this in a positive way!"
but you are wrong...
nothing is impossible.

Life isnt as far and long as we think it is..
It isnt strong and firm either..
The most fragile thing that we guys have is Life..
and that is also the only thing we have...

different people have different ways of life
im just saying that, if you were to see things in a positive angle
it will certainly light up your mood and your day
slowly it will also change your way of life
your doings and of course your thinking..
by then, you will be a happier person
treating others in a way that you will never imagine that you will...

you may be the next
SunShine Boy/Girl. . . .

Open your heart and mind while you think and see things..
Dont let the devil in you to share his thinking with you
open the doors for the Angel. . .

as i told one of my friends
there is no such things as Life Sucks!
there is only 2 kind of life
FUN or VERY FUN!

Stop stepping on flowers,
bend down and smell it.
Stop throwing stones at dogs,
throw balls with them.
Stop laughing at your friends,
laugh with them.

Life can always be much better
ALWAYS!!!!

The Now and Then Promise

2008-03-08T21:29:00.001+08:00

With this post. i would like to get enlightened..
by you guys.
Couples and Singles.
with this, im sure that you guys know what is this very post about.

i would like to ask you guys something that might be
obvious or simple to you guys .
i would like to know how to be a ...
Good stead?
well, saying it is easy
'' i want to, and will be a good stead to you!''
but how do we actually put that in action
how do we actually prove it?

Some may say,
buy things that your girl like for her.
others may say.
be there for her when she need you the most
support her, and have trust in her.
these are also the very things that i tell my friends
when they ask me things about stead.
but....
what if

i fall in love with a Strong girl
not physically strong, with bulky muscles sticking out of her body.
just imagine.
me holding hands with a muscle girl....
.... .... ..... ....
yeah you get what i mean.
ya a girl that
doesnt show her emotion to you.
even though you know that she is having trouble.
even thought you know that she needs help
and that whenever you ask her,
if she was ok?
if she want to talk to you about it?
if she needs your help?

she will always say
No need, she is fine, tell you next time..
sometimes or shall i say most of the time
i feel so helpless, useless
all i can do is just to stand there doing nothing...
hiax.
* sigh*

she is a great girl....
a unique girl
a girl that i truely love...
but sometimes she seems
emoitionally stronger than me...

i onces saw a show
and an actor said this
'' Love is like gardening, one party is the flower and the other is a gardener''
i wish to be the flower's gardener, but....
you can see the flower about to wilt and it needs water.
you ahve all the things you need, water hose, pipe, tap
everything
all you need is just to spray those water droplets on the flower
however, the flower is a... a... Rose
and its torns are surrounding it...
you can go anywhere near it...
hence all you can do
is just to stand there hopelessly
staring at the Rose, praying for it to get better
and if it wont, you cant do anything either...

i always say how much i love and care for you,
sometimes in those fancy and flashy words.
To you, these things comes naturally to me,
as though im saying just for the sake of saying.
But you are wrong. Really wrong.
these words are only said to you
no 3 person knows it or ever heard of it
but............ nevermind...

you always say that you know how much i love you.
But do you really know, in your heart you know the truth.
even i cant say how much i love you
as there is no word in the dictionary to be used to measure it
may be because my range of vocab isn't much
but, its just something that cant be said out
it must be FELT,
and have you feel it?
or have you not?

In life, i want alot alot alot of things.
i want to have alot alot of toys when i was young
i want to have alot alot of delicious food when i eat
i want to have alot alot of friends
i want to have alot alot of this and that
but no matter how alot alot i wan things
i only want ONE girl.
and that's enough
in this case it isn't
the more the merrier
but the quality that counts.........

Saying that you want to be a good stead is an easy thing
but doing it is another thing.
its one of the most difficult thing to fulfil in life.. believe me..
how many of you can be confident and step up now
and say that you are a good stead?
if you are, How good are you?
rating from 1 - 10, how many would you rate yourself?
and will that rating be lower or higher of what your partner will rate you?

Girls can be innocent and fragile
but they can also be Firm and Strong.
sometimes even stronger than we are.

How can I be a good stead?
How can I treat my girl better?
How do I know when does she needs me , when she always seems so strong and that she doesnt? How can i make her smile more?
How can I know when to give her more love and care, when she always seems that she have enough?
How can I be the little worm in her heart and mind, so that i can always know what she feels and think?
How can I make her feel comfortable and herself when she is with me?
How can I tell her that i need her when she has enough problem herself?
How?.... How?.. and only HOW???

Have you guys thought of this
May be it isnt the Girls that need us more.
is that WE, as guys need the girls more
just that we don't know that?

Who is the one that you will think of when you see a cute thing, a funny thing, a new thing.
who is the one that you wan to talk to when you are lonely, sad, happy, angry
Who??
you know it yourself....

Guys, if you think that you are a good stead...
think again....

Friends

2008-03-01T21:23:00.003+08:00

I was working as a banquet waiter last night
and was serving in a dinner for Singapore Arm Force ( SAF)
as one of their general was retiring and they are giving him a
farewell dinner.

In this very dinner.
ALOT of speech were being said.
while these speech were being said out.
we, waiter couldn't do anything but just stand at a side and also listen to the speech
Most of the speech where about the times they spend together
the Thick and Thins that they have been through.
and to the end of the dinner a song was sang
'' peng you'' in english '' Friends''
while the mtv was being screened out
i thought of the word ''friend''
i gave it a little thought.
lol of course i wasnt thinking about that guy's friends
but MY friend.

whenever we talk about friends.
we normally will think them as people that we
pour our hearts to.
gone through thick and thins with.
fought together with
even
fought among with.
some may even think to an extent that
they can even die for their friends.
or in a chinese saying
'' they can climb a stairs made of sharp knifes or jump into a fire-ry sea''
but is that possible?
lol
they say say only mah ( man this sound SUPER singlish)
as talking is FREE!!!!!
haha!

to many of us, including me
the first few people that you would think of when
you are in a trouble, or when you have some things that you want people to hear out to
we would mostly think of your friends.
But why is it your friends?
why isn't ur family?
your siblings, your parents?
some of you guys would say
'' NO i did!''
but im speaking it as an overall.....
i thought through about this
and this was my conclusion.

Is it because we spend more time with our friends?
Is it because we feel that our friends understands us more than our parent?
then i have to ask this ques,
why does ur friends understand you mroe than your parents?
did you give ur parents a chance to walk into your heart
like what you gave to your friends.
You feel that your friends understands you more
as you guys think the same way?
you feel that your parents are old-fashion etc?
then why do you guys have the same thinking?
as you guys are about the same age. you guys have the same Naive thinking?
those foolish thoughts?
you guys think the same as you guys ASSUME that this is the right way to think and feel
as this age, as this era.
i know..
as i feel the same way too!
lol

However, have you guys ever thought through.
whenever you quarrel with your parents about the diff thinkings that you guys had
have it ever once that your parents were wrong?
ok, i don't know about you guys
but i usually quarrel with my mom about our diff thinking
and usually after that,
i cool myself down and think back about the fight
and i ALWAYS, relise that im at the wrong end
ALWAYS...

but although knowing that she is always right or often right
why do i still quarrel with her?
as im too stubborn?
or do i think that it feels good to talk to
people who have the same thinking ( friends)

how far can one go for his/her friend?

Granted!

2008-02-28T23:13:00.000+08:00

Granted is the word!
i seriously fully understand the very meaning of this word...
we human take too many things for granted..
i mean its normal, its come naturally to take it for granted.
No one, and i mean really NO one wouldn't take things for granted.
Food, Transport, Money, Time etc
are some of the very example
for me, this time was transport.

these few days whenever i go out to singapore
i will go back at around evening where
the traffic back to malaysia won't be that serious!
but however for the past 2 days
i was VERY VERY wrong..
for the past 2 days
there was a SUPER serious jam
those staying at woodlands and marsling area will understand what i mean
there was two reasons for this horrible jam

1st - The police in the checkpoint is stepping up security because the JL leader has escaped from
detention. And due to this, Singapore is at great risk! Both in losing their reputation of being
ever efficient and the country's safety. Hence each and every vehicle is checked throughly
to prevent the guy from leaving the country.

2nd- Johor Bahrua is having a event where many road were blocked for that event. And vehicles
could not get to the town.

and because of this...
every road heading towards the checkpoint was STUCKED!
not even a single car moved
i think if i were to sit on a snail. i could have reached home much
faster than the bus.
in order to reach home earlier
i decided to get off the bus and walk to the checkpoint
then i was near marsling mrt...
i walked all the way there and after reaching the checkpoint
THERE WAS NO FREAKING BUS!
hence i have to walk all the way to malaysia checkpoint!
and once i was there. i thought that finally
my parents could come and fetch me
and i could have taken a break
but NO!
most of the roads were blocked
and my parents had NO way to fetch me
and i had to WALK all the way home...
hence that night
from marsling mrt to my house
i had to WALK, i repeat WALK with no form of transport
but the very old method with my legs..
the whole journey took me about 3.5 hours..

while i was walking i was thinking
how i use to take cars and transport for granted..
thinking that this is what i should get!
there is no one that i should thank or what so ever
but i was SO wrong.

However, through out this walking journey
i must take SOMEONE
who kept me company on the phone
chatting with me
if not
i don't think i could make it
so THANK YOU
i need not say the name
as you know who you are!
*WINK*

Dont tell me that you have never take things for granted
ok then i will give you an example

have you ever feel this.
whenever you are studying in school
you always wish that holiday will come soon and you can slack?
and whenever you are in a holiday
you want it to end soon so that you can be back in school?

yeah as we are taking the times that have for granted!
why cant we not think of holiday and treasure the time we have in school
during school days.
and do exactly during the holidays?
do i have a point there?

No human is not greedy!
or not take things for granted!
or doesnt want to get things done with the easy way out!
but have you ever thought why are we like that?
why are we never contented!
and i really mean NEVER....
but WHY??

i want to ask you guys something..
as i need help.

How do you care for something who seems as though she doesn't need any care at all?

All is Fair in Love and War

2008-02-13T23:47:00.000+08:00

The day before Valentines........

Guy : What do you want for valentines, dear?

Girl : No baby, you don't need to buy anything, i'm just fine

with you. Please don't spend anymore money on me!

Guy : You sure? Its worth it for you!

Girl : Yeah, Positive!

Guy : Well ok, since you say so, Ok then!

On Valentines Day........

Guy : You are the one who said that you don't want anything.

Girl : But you could at least gotten me a rose?

Guy : But you said you want NOTHING!!

Girl : Oh Gosh! You are so.......
WHATEVER.......!

Well guys, don't you think that this happen very often?

Girls would tell you that they want nothing and that
they will make you think as though its fine to not to give them anything
but in their heart, they already know what do they want

and that they are expecting you guys to know what they want!
AM I RIGHT?
Come on, i want to hear some cheers over there!

haha!
Well its also reasonable though.

as Girls are a very sentimental and emotion creatures
Not saying that guys aren't
just that girls are MORE!...

so guys, next time try to do some homework before you try to give

a gift to your girl.

try to remmeber what your girl always stop for when you guys are out
try to get some ideas of what to give her when you see her keep on staring at something..

As we all know
today is Valentines Day!!

for all those couples

this is just a prefect day for a date
a very wonderful day!

However for those Singles like me
its just another day or even worst?

Some single may feel as though this is the last day
that they would ever want to be through!.

For me, some of you might be interested to know how i spend my V day

haha
for me, its simple.

i lock myself in the room and keep forcing myself to forget that today
is V day

just telling myself

'' No, its your mom's birthday! Your pet dog, zack's birthday! Its National day! Its teachers'

day. Just anyday that you want but not V day!''

haha
do you believe me?

lol
come on, im not that emo!!

i spent my V day in school
doing Peer Tuitoring for the sec fours...
hiax..
my Valentines day,,... GONE just like that!!

i was listening to 987fm just now
and i heard something that kept me thinking
a listener asked.

why is there V day, what was the reason that cause this day?
do you know?

can you enlighten me?

As V day approaches nearer
you can see many cute bears, roses etc

being put out of the shops

and people will be buying those things.
but if it was V day
would you be see-ing this crowd buying these things?

Why are couples only buying the '' best'' and '' perfect '' gift for their partner only on V day?

Am i right to say that, to many. V day is a day where their partner really shows

their genuine care and concern to their partner?

and that genuine actions only last on that day?

hence this is part of the reasons why couples always look forward for this day?
not really for the presents but for the actions...?

And for those couples have you guys noticed something
on this very day, the things that your partner says to you are always so SWEET
things that they normally don't really squeek it out?

am i right?

Valentines day

A day where couples get really sweet?

A day where guys always pray to God that their crush will say yes , to be their steads..
A day where singles long for a partner too?

However, why are people expecting so much on just one day

when they can make V day, EVERDAY!

i mean they should!

so if the geniune actions and feelings will only be shown on V day
then why don't couples stead on V day and break at the stroke of mid night
and patch back when the next V day comes?

don't i have a point..?

i don't wish my Girlfriend to show me how much she Loves and Care for me

only on that day?

if so, she isn't doing it for me!

But for the day!

what is the meaning for V day?

we guys always wait for 365 days , 8760 hours
just for a pleasure that last for less then 24 hours?

Is it all worth it?

Man i feel as though im the Grenech of Chirstmas
just that this time its Valentines day

well, may be i feel this way
as for all my life
i haven't really enjoyed Valentines
i haven't really celebrated Valentines
Every Valentines just an ordinary day for me..

cny

2008-02-12T14:54:00.000+08:00

Hello guys..

i want to wish all those Chinese out there a
Very Happy Chinese New Year!.....
i also want to wish all those Non-chinese out there a
Very Happy Chinese New Year!.....
in short, i just want to wish everyone a
VERY HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!.....

lol, ok that was lame...

hmmmm
although CNY isn't over yet ( 15 days)
but the CNY mood and all those things are fading.

i have to say this,
this year's Chinese New year is abit different for me.
alot of un-expected stuff happens.
when i say un-expected stuff, i really mean it
some are very hurting, while some are very SHOCKING!!
lol!!
for this CNY, i didnt spend as much time as i use to
in going to my relative's house...
im also not sure why
but just feel as though the mood and atmosphere isnt there
Surprisingly, my WHOLE family DIDN'T gamble for this new year
for all the years, ever since i was young, Gambling was.... should i say a MUST?
but this year..... NO one Gambled...
And this year, whenever i see those cookies and snacks that we normally eat in CNY
i didnt really eat them as i don't even have the appetiate to do so?
nowadays i feel like vomitting whenever i eat alittle?
what's seem to be wrong with me?

However have you guys found out something?
and that is, as the year pass by, the new year's atmosphere seems to be fading
im not sure about in Singapore, but over here
its seem as though its the " Dead Town''
in the past, you could see red things hanged over everwhere
and you couldnt find any corner of the town without people
but now,
you cant even find a corner with people?

is it due to the advance in technology that caused this?
as in the past
people live very far from each other and that communication
between both party was very hard.
able to gather each year to seee one another is a bliss
but now?
with MSN, Email. Cars..
visitings seems too easy..
like for me
my grands just stay beside me..
so during CNY eve when i go there and eat
to me its just like another meal
nothing special?

As the CNY atmosphere fade.
will the culture of CNY fade as well?
do kids nowadays know the real meaning of CNY?
or is it just a period of time
where they can get extra pocket money?
to tell you the truth, i really don't know the Real meaning of CNY
to me, CNY its just a day where my parents will bring me around
and they will talk to the others
while i talk to my cousins or just stare at the TV
Praying that the next show won't be able CNY!!!
lol. Silly ?

Every year i hope for CNY to be here
but when it is, it always seems to be the same old thing..
as though my life is be rewinded and played again and again?
however, will the ways of CNY ever change?
if i ask myself what do i expect of CNY or
how can i improve it....
im speechless.......
hiax....
CNY........

evolution!

2008-02-02T20:37:00.000+08:00

Changes happen to everything in this world.
From living things to non-living things.
A seed changes from A seed to a sprout to a majestic tree.
A piece of Plastic sheet is being changed to many things.
Changes happen by the second.

Since i have no school to report to at the moment
and have no company to report for work ( jobless)
i have Tons of time to think through alot of things,
and i thought through about my surrounding, my enviroment, the people around me ( friends)
and i realised something, something that which is related to the word '' Change''

i found out that, alot of my friends
whom are in PAE and who went for the first three weeks in JC
are changing, what im mean it's that they are really who they are when they are in kranji
They are more and more Open, Out-going,-Daring,Sporty,Friendly,Talk-active
i'm not saying that the changes aren't good.
But i just thought to myself.
I didnt expect JC to be this impactful, to be able to change not one but alot of my friends..
Some of them, their personalities really changed 360 degree.
i won't write names over here.
But you and i know who you guys are.

If JC could do such a great change to them.
Then what about me?
How would Poly life change me?
How would i be, during the three years in Ngee Ann Poly?
Would i be even crazier than ever?
or will i changed 360 too, to become a nerd?
I am really confused now, as no ones know what will happen in the future
NO one knows what will happen in the next second.
i might be a punk? (haha, try to think about that )

Since alot of my friends are changing now or has changed.
Does this mean that I have to change to?
There is a chinese saying that goes something like this
'' If you don't change with your surrounding, then you will be kicked out and be out dated''
But does this apply to this case?

To those friends that changed.
i'm glad for you,
but i want to tell you guys this,
no matter how much u changed
or even how many times you changed
the Most important thing is
BE YOURSELF!

NO one is better than MOM!

2008-01-28T01:17:00.000+08:00

Hiax...
after 4 long days,
finally done my JAE application.
i shld be relifed and glad tt its over ryt?
i shld be glad tt now all i can do is just to wait
for the posting to be out ryt?
But, NO!
i feel very .. remoseful!
make is SUPER DUPER!

hiax.
due to my mom's diff expectation for me
my 1st choice for the poly course
( btw im gg poly)
it changed frm, chemical engineering to biomedical science to optometry to aeronautical
engineering and back to chemical engineering and then finally to....
chemical and biomolecular engineering

today i spend my WHOLE day..
and i realli mean the WHOLE day infront of the com
just to choose the course
in the morining, i discussed with my bro
and i got a list
( as we have to write down 12 courses)
and i thought, '' yes it was done''
but to think of it..
hmmm dun realli like the course

then at late afternoon
i settled ANOTHER list with my sis!!
hehe...
and guess wat?
at night
i did ONE MORE list with my dad!
and the finally one was wat i wanted...
and the thing tt is stoppin me frm gg to the web and apply
was my bro and my mom's approver!!
my bro was somehow ok with it ( surprisingly)
as he was kinda annoyed of me pestering him AGAIN!
as my mom went Singapore shopping
she came home kinda late
and i thought she was ok with my choice
but in the end NO!

we had an 2 hr 30 mins discussion of
whether to place
Chemical engineering SP ( mom's side)
or
Chemical and biomedical engineering ( my side)

my mom wanna me to do for SP
as the course there is more focused on just 1 factor
but mine is focused on 2 factors..
and after comparing, we both noe tt SP is teaching more things...
we keep discussing until, we almost started to quarrel..

my mom's reason for me to go SP
as its 50+ yrs old
the teacher are experiences
and the course is better
she is doin this for my own gd
but my reason for NP
is bcaz i get a lap top if i go there!
hiax, stupiding thinking...
she is helping me yet i.....
WAT WAS I THINKING....
haix...

in the end she gave in
and i was allowed to go NP
but, i feel so sad,.. so empty
SORRY MOM!!
its too late to change now
as i already sumitted the application...!!
im realli sorry!
whenever we quarrel, and i always talk back
but after the quarrel, one after another time
when i think back
she is always right, she always has her point
but i dun.....
then y do i always wanna start a fight
when i noe tt she is right, and tt she is doing it for my gd?
why im i like that?

what is done is done..
even if i want to go SP also no use le
wat can i do now?
i feel so ashamed of myself
the onli way tt i can do is to
REALLI work hard and be in the top 5% of the course
and get a scholarship and go to Uni!
I CAN DO IT !!
MOM ! THIS IS FOR U!!

there is such a song call
'' Sorry, seems to be the hardest word''
yes i agree...
hence im not gg to say sorry to her
im gg to express it out to her
and how do i do tt?
and tt is to make her proud
do extremely well in MY COURSE!!
for the past 10 years,
i have been studying for myself
but now, im not onli studying for myself
but my mom too!!!

mom i love u!
sorry for hurting u and
not listenin to u!
i might be a stone,
but my heart is a tofu
haha!!
MOM!!!!

the 2am plan!

2008-01-20T14:38:00.000+08:00

Actually the whole world is changin by the minute

as each minute pass, things are getting more n more complicated...

but we are forgetting that, sometimes

somethings are best when they are kept simple.

in the Old fashion way.

and tt's was wat we did yesterday
in order to celebrate Shermaine's bd...

"Simple" was the theme.

As due to some problems

we couldnt continue our origonal plan

of having a grand party with many ppl attending..

so, Josh and me had to think of a plan or idea

on how to celebrate shermaine's bd

and it was done during Mid night!

we dicussed frm 11pm to ard 2 am

on how to shld get the party started which

was just in a matter of hrs ( 9 hrs time)

hence we came up with the

simplest but one of the best bd celebration tt we had ever organise

better than those that i thought of while in kranji

as this was kinda last min though

we guys ( Joshua, Wei xun, Tai yi and Me)
made a surprise mini Picnic for Sher...

at 1st she wanted a picnic at botanic garden

but we couldnt bring her there

as we had something on at the afternoon

hence we just changed the destination to ......
LIMBANG PARK
haha!!

instead of the traditional picnic of sitting on the mat and with

foods in the basket
....

we just bought pizza, drinks and a few tibits

THNKS MS RATNA FOR THE PIZZA!!!!!!

love u Cher!!

And about the cake

as on Sher's msn nick
she wrote '' I Love Oreo Cheesecake''

haha. and we didnt noe where we could get tt cake

and moreover when we met up in the morning

most of the shops werent open yet

hence. we came up with an....haha idea!

we guys bought an Cheesecake

and a packet of oreo

and when both add together...

Cheesecake + Oreo = Oreo Cheesecake!

LoL... dun laugh la!!

on the morning...

we had onli a limited time to decorate the place

and get all the things done..

and it was HARDER for me to stall time...

and to keep on delaying sher at lot 1

while the rest get ready...

i even brought her to Popular
and told her tt i wanna study hard in poly and would like to read more books!!

haha!!

and i even told a lie , in order for her to

follow me frm lot 1 to limbang park

but it was great tt she didnt suspect a thing..

and everything went well!!

This might be the Simplest Birthday Celebration

that she might ever get

just hope that she had a GREAT time..

and just wanna wish her
a HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY!!!!!

have fun gal!

sakura!

2008-01-14T13:22:00.000+08:00

A picture speaks a thousand words

so i wont dwell on this sakura trip too much!! haha
All in All, it was a great meal eating with friends..

friends like, Jie heng, China, zi yang. joan, xindi and stozer

i almost forgot that kinda feeling after i left kranji....

but that was my fastest buffet session ever,

usually my buffet session will last for at LEAST 4- 5 hrs

but this time. we onli ate abt 2 hrs...

we didnt noe tt sakura's lunch buffet

was onli frm 12 - 2.30

and if i remember correct we reached there at ard 1 plus!!

agrrr

we were onli getting things started then
the staff told us tt in 15min time it will be their last order

oh man!!

and guys.

if u are plannin to eat with Xindi

i have an advice for u

go there with a REALLI empty stomach
and just sit there n u need not take a thing

she will help u take ( indirectly)

haha!

she will onli nibble a small amount of food

and leave the massive amount for us to finish

haha!!

those who went with us

or ate buffet with her b4

shld noe wat i mean!

its not a bad thing...

at least she doesnt waste food...
hehe!

So guys,

when is our next buffet session?
hmm?
haha

( this seems to be my shortest post ever)

Kranji's enligtement!!

2008-01-09T20:55:00.000+08:00

i had alot of complains about my blog being too lag.
im realli sorry, its due to the massive amount of picstures
that i place in my blog.
sob, all i wanted to do its to share with u guys
the fun that i have with as many pics that i can
but didnt noe it actually back fired...
haha!!

ok. now let get back to the main aim of me posting this post
Well went back to kranji today.
with a few of my friends..
and all i can say its that kranji has changed..
not as in physically,
i mean, kranji's life, kranji's spirit!
it aint the same..
kranji is now so quiet and empty,
this isnt the kranji that i noe for 4 years.
i keep wondering, what can i do for kranji?
after all these years, Kranji has indeed did alot of things for me.
what can i do?!?!?!?!
the least i could do its to share my frisbee skills with current kranjians
and tt was wat i did...
i taught a group of sec ones how to play frisbee....
seeing a glimpse of Kranji spirit in them
haha!!

AND......AND......AND......AND...
today i met a SUPER DUPER cute gal..
sec 1 gal...
i know you guys must be thinking
come on stozer. a SEC ONE?!?!?
but she is realli cute.. haha!
such a chio bu..
and to be frank
this was part of the reason why i wanted to get back to kranji
beside the point of passing my books and notes to friends
and talking to teacher
the other reason is to see sec 1...hehe
eh, i noe almost all the boys have the same aim
haha!!

we would always joke among ourselves..
'' eh go back see chio bu la..''
haha... dun act, guys you know this is true
but i kept thinking abt this sentence while i was on my way home..
chio bu....
this is the 21th century.
and i thought tt both
Males and Females are equal
then why are we guys still treating gals like that..
like as though they are something for us to look at?
i mean... they arent born for us to look at ryt?
they arent a monkey in the zoo where we go visit and
take a look..?
how would WE BOYS feel if we were kept being look at?

we hardly even hear gals say this
'' eh wanna go back school to see guys?"
yes there might be.. but rarely...

you guys might think tt im a hypocrite
but this is how i feel.
gals are here to be loved and cared...
they arent like a ball tt we guys can pass around..
we guys always dare each other to get the cute gals number
and most of the time they would say NO
but have u realli thought of the reason why?..

Are gals something tt u can dare each other with?
So wat if u are realli daring and got her number..
what do u gain..
yes may be a friend
but did u gain her respect?

we are always tt daring to start a relationship
to get a gal
as we have nothing to lose!
but the gals
they have everything to lose..
they give everything out to u..
their whole heart, time, love
but ask back urself
have u, realli done all those whole heartedly?
without any dirty thoughts?
have u guys ever been into a relastion where
u guys have no physical contact?
NO holding hands. NO huggin. NO kiss. NO etc..
where u care 4 one another
and where by u have trust in ur love.
Love and relationship doesnt mean physical contact
this was wat i learn frm Mr Yeo Chun Hua!

take a deep breath and think..
this might be OLD Fashion or watever
but define Love to urself..
u cant lie to urself...
and think, in ur relationship with the other party
how different is it frm wat u defined?
think abt it...

this was wat i was enlightened today after gg back to kranji
thnks to the sec 1 gal.
u might think im fake..
but im just writting wat i think....!!!
now i get a deeper understanding of relationship!
ive realli thought too little n shallow in a relationship in the past..
things arent as wat they seem to be like..
u can see and learn different things frm the same object
with a different angle...
try to open ur scope of mind..
see things with a step backwards..
try to think of the reasons ..
i feel tt, tt is more impt
to find the reason then the solution...

The First n may be the Last 4E chalet!

2007-12-28T12:59:00.000+08:00

well guys.. afew days ago was the start

of our class chalet!

woah so excited
as in my whole 4 yrs of sec life
didnt have a class chalet!!

u might be shocked n might not even believe me

but im statin the truth!

come on, y would i lie to u

im a GOOD boy!

haha
i would just like to make this post

short, and not too wordy
as u noe me

once i start to write

i would write alot. and will get more n more emo

by then all of u will link my Blog as an EMO blog
haha

n stozer = emo

but also kinda true la hor!

hehe!

k i would just like to thnk 4E for being

such a great class for my last 2 years in kranji

providing me with the enviroment for me to go crazy

and thankin them for always supporting and believing

in my crazy ideas

example, being the Mime on National day etc!

i wont have dared to do that if it wasnt for u guys!

it was u guys whom made stozer who stozer am now

it was u guys whom made stozer popular

it was u guys whom made stozer known

it was all becaz of u guys... 4E!!

in other's point of view

we might not be the best class or the most fun class or the coolest class

but inside we the 4E-ians know the truth *wink*

able to enter a class like 4E

every single morning for the past 2 years has been

an adventerous thing

every morning b4 i step into the class

im always clueless on wat will happen today!

which stupid clown will do stupid things today

which joker will crack wat kinda jokes

which stunt man will do stunts today

which student leader will dampen our mood

etc........

this isnt a class of studies although we are a triple science class

but always i feel that this class is more naughty , hyper n active then a NA or NT class

NO OFFENCE but just that

we dun realli study in class or listen to the teachers in class

we arent those guai guai de express student

teachers who have taught us b4 would noe wat i mean

but, wat is 4E if its not crazy?

which teacher doesnt noe tt 4E is a crazy class?

which teacher doesnt noe tt 4E has tons of crazy teachers?

which teacher doeant noe tt 4E is special?

which teacher doeant noe tt f4E is friendly?

and most IMPORTANTLY

which teacher willnt MISS 4E when we are gone?

may be having a chalet is a best way to end our journey of being

a class

or it might be a starting of a new one?

a journey where we guys are still super CLOSE friends

even though we are in diff classes, schools

n we are always keepin contact

and our friendship wouldnt nvr fade?

n tt it would feel as though we have nvr separated b4!

k well
since we are at the topic of separation

i would like to share a ques

a ques tt i always ask myself.

how would kranji be like if i didnt enter it 4 yrs ago?
how would i be like if i didnt enter kranji?

would i be this joker n funny stozer?
or would be a naughty gangster?

would i even have this name STOZER?
or another strange name?
(for those who duno, the name STOZER was created at the end of my sec 1 years)

who would be the Joker if i didnt enter kranji?
who would be the NEXT Joker, after i leave?

how would kranji's life be like after i leave?

Told u guys this post wouldnt be realli that long

and emo~~ lol!!

just would like to thnk every1 who tt

i noe in kranji

for making my stay there memorable

and making me feel wanted n appreciated!!

take care guys

as i realli duno when will i ever see u guys again!
how u guys will remember

the little stone name stozer!!

and have a HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2008 would be much better than 2007!!!

GREAT LUCK!

christmas at xindi's

2007-12-25T22:27:00.000+08:00

1st and fore-most
i would like to wish every single one of u guys
a JOYOUS CHRISTMAS!!
haha!!
u might be thinking..
eh? the day is already goin to end, y am i wishing u guys at the last min
if u are thinking this way
u are wrong.
if im not wrong
Christmas last for 12 days!

how was ur Christmas this year?
average?Good?Great?Brillant?Perfect?
well, i can tell u mine
i had a BLAST!!
for my 16 years of life
this is the best christmas party
as usually my family dun realli have the tradition to celebrate
Christmas....sob...
why cant i be like u guys who celebrate christmas at home

but this year, i had a totally diff christmas
the way i celebrate it
and the way i spend my christmas
this year, i spent it with a group of my friends
and this was made possible
all thanks to KEW XINDI!
thanks gal! for inviting us for ur great party!
had a total of 19 ppl who went to the party ( xindi, its 19 ar not 18 worh!)
and i can tell u this
xindi's house its nice... darn nice!!
and wat i liked abt her house is her pets....
her parrotS.... she have 16 of them if im not wrong
!!!
NICE!!

HAHA
ok ok back to the party
we reached her house, later as planned
as some of us were late
and when we were there
we had to put out the fire..
let me repeat. we didnt have to start a fire
we had to put it out!
as the fire was too strong, too big
the fire wasnt made for BBQ it was more like mini campfire!
the moment we placed the Otahs on the grill
we realli regret making tt move
the pandan leaves tt were coverin the Otahs got burnt
and one of Xindi's Otah was..........haha...
the pandan leaves were so burnt tt
once she used the tongs n lift it up
Most of the leave turned to ash n wat was left was an Otah without a cover!

then we chatted our hearts out!
at a few moments i would just stop eating n talkin
and just look ard .... just look at my friends
just wondering, when will be the next time tt we can spend time together?
4 yrs being together isnt enough!
and now, gg to diff sch...
b4 this party
ive slowly beginnning to forget the feeling of spending time with KRANJIANs
thnks to xindi again, tt the feeling is back!

at ard 10 plus most of us went home
and onli left 9 of us tt were planning to stay over at xindi's place
we spend the whole night playing majong (ON THE FLOOR)
thnks to xindi AGAIN!
Nathan, Wei xun n myself made a 20 mins walk frm xindi's place
to nathan's house just to take the majong set
and we asked xindi if she had any table for us to play
as we didnt wanna carry the majong table all the way to her house
and she said yes
when we got back
guess how big the table was
it was a square table
the length was LESS THAN ONE METRE
OMG!!
how to play!
no choice lor all on the ground le lor
we also played poker, PS ... etc..

And the GAL that said wanna stay awake the whole night
started asking us to go to slp at ard 5 plus...
haha....
at 1st onli a few of us slpt
the next thing u knew...
u could not see a single pair of eyes open..
u could not hear a single person not mumbling something frm their dreams.
Need not me to mention who she is la....haha!!
and after 1 hr plus
THE SAME PERSON
started to wake us up
but in a un-convincing manner
once she openned her eyes
she said '' wake up leh.....wake up leh''
then when we woke up
we realise tt she fell aslp again?!?!?!?!?!
this didnt happen just once
it happen for 4 - 5 times
lol!!!!

but overall
this was a totally diff experience of christmas for me
celebrating the Season of Giving with a Family tt celebrates Xmas.
haha feel so diff!!
now i understand y ppl like to celebrate Xmas soo much!
the time when ppl gather
the time when we forgive n forget
the time when we Give and not take ( have la presents)
the time when we just sit back n think abt the times we spend in the previous year
the time when we all get ready together to face the new year!

I LIKE CHRISTMAS!!
thnks xindi! again!!
realli,,,...!! realli wanna thnks u!
and lastly, thnks for the present xindi!
love it!

all thnks for Ritz Carlton!

2007-12-21T20:39:00.000+08:00

haha
im realli pissed off today
but do i sound pissed off?
haha

well,ive 2 things to share with u guys
n both of them links to the hotel call Ritz Carlton
aggrrrrr!!

well, today i went to Ritz for interview
to work as a waiter over at their banquet
and when i reached there with Nathan n Wei xun
bring me there
the manager saw me
n she said this to me
'' your hair is too long, go cut it and then come for interview''
i was totally stunned?
huh?
at 1st i thought that she was just joking
hence i just smiled at her
and she said
'' eh im serious, go cut now then come back b4 1pm''
i was like
my hair isnt long?
its just THICK i guess

i had no choice
thus we hurried to the nearest place where i can get my hair done
n just my luck ( in a sacarstic manner)
we went to the place where u can get ur hair done in just 10 mins
with 10 bucks
ever since i 1st saw tt place
i have always suspect their skills of cutting there
i didnt want to go
but i had no choice

the worst thing was that
the guy told me that i used too much wax and it was hard to cut
he even said
'' wah lao, even my cutter cant cut ur hair!''
i was like cant be bah...
the guy was so rough that
he keep on pulling my hair with his comb
it felt as though he was attempting to pull my hair out frm my skull
OUCH!!!
in the end
i was ryt
I HATE MY NEW HAIR STYLE

i wanted to keep my hair long
so that my usual bubble could change my hair style for me
n now, i have to grow them back all over again
hence my pas 3 and a 1/2 weeks had come to a waste
MY HAIR.......
just becaz of an interview i go change my hairstyle to an ugly one!
agrrr....
its still ok if my hair style its nice
i dun mind growing it back all over again
but the point is, it isnt nice AT ALL!!!!
haix, dun laugh at me when u see me ar!!
sob sob!!

and here is the 2nd thing
when i went back
another manager asked how old i was
i said 16
he was stunned
he told me tt i looked 18?
n he wasnt the onli one
alot of my collegues and supervizers at Carrefour
also thought tt im 18 or a poly student?
can i ask u
do i realli look tt old to u guys?
realli meh?
have i grown old??

RITZ CARLTON
GIVE ME BACK MY HAIR!!!!

the RENOVATION is finally OVER

2007-12-17T12:23:00.000+08:00

haha
1stly i would like to thnk my
God sis - RANI
for helping me do my blog's renovation
lol.. finally it is done
after asking othersl to help me do it ( as i duno how to do ) hehe
they keep on saying ok ok , but in the end didnt do
except for RANI
thnk you
and thnks to her
finally its done..

today's post wont be a little diff
it wont be very long, nor very emo
i wont like to just explain my new blog
hehe..
it might look simple
but everything inside
reflects my life and me..

ok now lets just with the 1 thing tt will catch ur attention
when u 1st come to my blog
the 3 pics..
in the 1st pictures it writes
'' Please dun break it''
and it show some1 giving his heart to the other person
this is in the same case for me
whenever im in a relationship,
i give my WHOLE heart out
give my everything
but what will i get in return?
anything? something? or even nothing?
everytime i pass my heart to someone
it will always get scratchs on it, crack marks
n sometimes even broken into pieces...
but whenever that happens?
is there any1 there for me?
A joker has its sad moments
A mime has its emo moments
A clown has its lonely moments
let alone me.....
have been fighthing all these alone..
with the un-fully complete heart of mine.
will i ever find some1 tt will care for my heart
as much as she care for hers?

2nd pic
it shows a boy
although being hurt but still wanna gets something for his gal
like me...
no matter wat happens on the way.
if i wanna to give something to my gal
i wont stop
even if it takes me weeks to do
even if it cost me a bomb
even if will injuried me
i will continue doing
as the smile on her face in the end
is the best cure for any wounds
is the best price that any money can afford
i mean, who doesnt wanna to give something to their
love ones just to see them happy
even though something might happen in the midst of doing it
but its for them
its worth it..

it u look carefully
the 1st two pics are both
frm the emo charater
this shows that
im actually also an emo guy *wink*
i might seem very strong, out-going, cheerful
in front of u guys
but actually im still weak in the inside
i might have alot of friends
but how many of them actually entered to my emo side?
may be after so many events and so many things
where i fought my emoness myself,with no aid , in the darkness
im startin to lose the battle. starting to be like....
kheh hong ( haha, no offence bro)
lol. but u guys get wat i mean...

the 3rd pic show a different side of me
although im emo
but sometimes i can also me a joker
just like the 3rd pic
the rabbit might look funny n make u all laugh
and tt is wat i might always do...
haha
may be this is a way for me to hide or escape frm my own prob
may be seeing u guys laugh
makes me forget abt me battling with the emo monster?

haha n lastly the song
look at the lyrics
feel the song
and find out wat im trying to say through this song......

We're doing it.
I look around me,
But all I seem to see,
Is people going no where,
Expecting sympathy.

It's like we're going through the motions,
Of a scripted destiny.
Tell me where's our inspiration,
If life wont wait,
I guess it's up to me.

[Chorus:]
Woah!
No, we're not gonna waste another moment in this town.
Woah!
And we won't come back your world is calling out.
Woah!
We'll leave the past in the past,
Gonna find the future.
If misery loves company well,
So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone.

Ooh, ooh, ooh.
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.

Procrastination, running circles in my head.
While you sit there contemplating,
You wound up left for dead (left for dead)
Life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses.
Another day, another casualty.
And that won't happen to me.

[Chorus]

Ooh, ooh, ooh.
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.
When I'm gone-

Let's go!

Won't look back,
When I say goodbye.
I'm gonna leave this a hole behind me,
Gonna take what's mine tonight.
Because every wasted day becomes a wasted chance.
You're gonna wake up feeling sorry,
Because life wont wait,
I guess it's up to you.

[Chorus]
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
You're gonna miss me when I'm gone.

MONEY = devil

2007-12-05T13:06:00.000+08:00

hello guys
1st, i would like to apologise
for all the late replys on my tag board, emails and friendster testi
as i am working now, n do not have time to be online..
lets not talk abt being online,
i dun even have to time to LOOK at my com.
put aside touching it.....

haha..
for this past few days
nth realli much to look forward to, after the prom
as though my life = no life
haha!!
so, dun think can update any interesting post this time round..
sorry!

a few days back
while i was having supper with my family.
while we were eating.
a begger came walkin towards us.
he was kinda old. wearing kinda torned n dirty cloths
and he looked sagged..
he came to my mom
and as usual she will give them a few dollars.
he thnked us and walked to another table!!

he walked to the next table.
where there was an old couple ( ard 40 to 50 yrs old)
n when i say couple, i dun mean those married husband n wife
i mean those boy friend, girl friend those.
they were drinking beer.
when the begger asked for some money
the guy ( duno was he trying to impress his gal, or was he drunk)
he said this '' You stand there and dance for me 1st'' so loudly as though
wanting everyone there to heard
Come on la!. the begger is already tt old and even have walkin difficulties
and yet u are asking him to dance for u get get some money?
so inhuman...
is it a joke to him????

i think that, due to his walking disablility
the begger ( ok, let change his name, dun wanna call him begger, lets call him Tom)
k, Tom, swallowed his pride, took a deep breath and started to sing loudly
n tried to do some hand moment.... somehow like a mini dance
tt bugger ( the couple) was laughin at him,
showing no sign of appreciation or wat so ever!
the worst thing is
after Tom's '' performance''
he didnt give him a single cent and even chased him away
WAT IS THIS!!
so wat if he have much more money than Tom
at tt moment i reallli feel like
taking money and throw at that couple!

Who or What shld to be blamed for this...
not the couple, not me nor Tom
is MONEY again..
if not for MONEY, would Tom embarrass himself infront of everyone
if not for MONEY, would Tom go walkin ard bending his back n head, beggin
if not for MONEY, would tt couple have the ...... the.... watever to ask Tom to do that
MONEY.... MONEY.... it all come down to this!!

last night
i was watching a chinese dramma
n one of the actor said this, tt i thought abt it
and thought tt its kinnda true
'' MONEY is the root of all evil
If you are rich, everyone will respect you and believe you
even the ghosts will respect u like Deties.
If you are poor. everyone will treat you like dog-shit''
think abt it...... its it true?

Why is MONEY ( just a few piece of printed paper)
so light yet so heavy?
so worthless yet so priceless?
so weak yet so powerfull?

can we do without money?
we always say
health is priceless
love is priceless
friendship is priceless
but,
we alway ALSO say that
can friendship or wat so ever
let us earn some MONEY?
isnt it strange? its priceless yet, it cant give us any money?

WHY DO WE PPL SEE MONEY AS HEAVILY?
i asked b4 and i will ask again.
is MONEY so and that important?
Without money, are we realli nth?